Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love Stinks, Part I
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.14.2000
Oh, my aching back! Will tonight's all-new 7th Heaven never end on the WB?
It's morning, and RevCam asks the other kids to clear out of the kitchen so he and Annie can talk to Mary some more. Here's their big scheme scene. They give Mary a sample bill for the room and board she'll have to pay starting in September. Go, CamRents! RevCam busts out the want-ads with some menial jobs already highlighted. He tells Mary that in the fall she'll either be in school or working -- those are the rules of the house. Mary clenches her jaw. "Maybe I'll just move out," she says. Uh oh. You just know RevCam's a lousy poker player, because his face immediately falls. Annie manages to play it off, though. She's all like, "Maybe you will." Mary storms out of the room. "What if she does move out?" StuporMom whispers. Eric points out that she doesn't have the money or the will to earn it.
Shana -- oh, wait, that's Matt! From behind they look alike. Matt goes to Heather's house and talks to her mom. The mom is all like, "Haven't seen you since you broke up Heather's wedding! Matt -- don't hurt her!" Matt says he'd never hurt her because he loves her. "Sometimes that's no guarantee," says Heather's mom. Yeah, lady. You're wise in the ways of the world. Now get out of the doorway. Heather and Matt stroll into the yard. Matt tells her that he loves her and he plans to break up with Shana. Heather's all like, "Good." This scene goes on way too long as the few points are iterated and reiterated by both characters with their sporadic American Sign Language gesturing. I don't pretend to know ASL, but it seems to me that if you're gonna do it, you should do it with each sentence and not only during key phrases like "I love you" and "break up with Shana."
In Ruthie's classroom, some little boy is all up in her face singing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song. "You're in love with Ber-ert!" he sings. Then another boy joins in with kissing faces. In walks Bert. Ruthie asks what kind of smack he's been talking. He goes, "That you love me," all mellow. "I never said that," goes Ruthie. But Ruthie said she wanted to be Bert's girlfriend! Yes, but that was only so Bert would do what Ruthie said! Was that the only reason, Bert wants to know. Ruthie indicates that it was. "Now tell everyone the truth," she demands. Instead, Bert turns away and gasps. "What's wrong?" Ruthie asks. He flings his books down and runs off. "You made him cry!" say the kissing boys. "You're in trouble!" I didn't see Bert actually crying, but whatever. If these kids want to believe that Ruthie's worth crying over, then today's youth has gone to hell in a handbasket and I can't do anything more for them.