Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | 415 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT There's That Past, Informing the Present Again
By Couch Baron | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2010.08.22
And it's River of Shit time, as Betty's taking a nap in Henry's lap when they hear a honk from outside. Figuring it's Don with the kids, Betty gets up, and when she sees Sally wearing a hat and a guilty look, she pretty much knows what's coming. Nonetheless, she flips out when she sees the extent of the damage, and when Sally confesses that she's the one to blame, Betty doesn't even let her get halfway through an apology before slapping her hard in the face, like, complete with windup and all. The men are all "Hey hey HEY!" about it, and Sally, undeterred, says that it was an accident and she's really very sorry, but Betty isn't hearing it, and sends her up to her room, over Don's objections.
Henry has Bobby take Gene outside to play, and when it's down to the adults, Don tells Betty she didn't have to hit Sally. Betty agrees, and then yells upstairs, "Because it doesn't do anything!" You'll forgive me for finding that inappropriately funny -- in my defense, I'll say it's the only kind of funny Betty's really good at. She continues that Sally's got Picture Day coming up, and as punishment she can forget about an upcoming sleepover. Well, her instincts were pretty sharp on that one, I must concede. We get a close-up of Henry to show that he's concerned by how Betty is handling this situation, and Don tries to tell her that this is something kids do, but Betty seethes that she wanted long hair more than anything when she was a kid, and her mother threatened to cut her hair if she was bad. Of course, you'll notice she doesn't have long hair now, and that's all I'll say on that subject. She asks where the hell he was, and Don digs himself deeper when he mentions the presence of a sitter. She bites out that they might as well have been alone, and he snits in reply, "Because you're so good with them." True enough, but ineffective as a parting shot -- I would have gone to the subject of why they're still in the damn house months after he threatened to evict them.
When he's gone, Henry tells Betty he feels her -- after he got divorced, his weekends with his daughter Ellie were "sacrosanct" (I don't doubt your sincerity, but bring it down a notch there, guy), and here's Don not even taking a night off? Betty agrees, and wonders if a secretary, or "another whore" was watching them, and now I'm off thinking about Candace telling Sally about the birds and the bees and this is just not good, so let's get to the part where Henry tells Betty that all that is Don, not Sally, and girls do stuff like this, and not just the ones from broken homes. With an effort, Betty lets go of her anger and agrees that she was "impulsive," and Henry tells her he knows from experience that punishment will only make the situation worse, so Betty should reinstate the sleepover "when you're up there apologizing," like, is Henry The Betty Whisperer or what? She smiles that he's soft, and I would agree, BY COMPARISON.