Episode Report Card Sara M: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!
By Sara M | Season 16 | Episode 9 | Aired on 04.10.2008
Hey, here's a fucking nasty dish: whole cooked bats! And they're covered in flies. Parvati tells us she had no idea why there was a bowl of bats on the table, but James dug right into them. Indeed, we see James eating a bat. He gets all the nasty black furry skin in his mouth and there's leg bones sticking out and grossssssss whyyyy? James tells us that he figured he wouldn't get the opportunity to eat bat again and "it's one of those things you have to try." Um...no, it isn't. He says it tasted like a juicy rabbit, which is also one of those things you don't have to try, by the way. It would be kind of funny if he learned that the bats were just a traditional Micronesian table decoration and not food.
Erik proposes a new tribe name of Dabu, which he says means "good" in Micronesian. Everyone quickly agrees and toasts to the new name, happy to get that over with. Then Erik secretly tells us that he made the name up and tricked everyone into thinking it was a real word. "I just wanted to name the tribe something funny," he says, also suggesting "funny" words like "momo" and "foshizzle." I wish he had used foshizzle, actually. Haw haw haw, what a jokester! Hey, Dabu -- you just got Erik'd!
Ozzy, who is not the leader at all, stands in front of the table and orders everyone to enjoy the meal and forget the game for a while. That's exactly what everyone is doing anyway, so, whatever, Ozzy. Alexis tells us that now that they've merged, the game has become "interpersonal," which I guess means she can dust off the old vocal cords and speak to people. Also, the merged tribe color appears to be hot green. Dabu has a gross name and gross colors. So far I am not pleased!
Later that night, Alexis is lying next to Ozzy looking right at home. Huh. When did this happen? And they're chatting like they've known each other for years. I didn't even know Alexis knew how to speak until this episode, so this is all very new to me. Alexis says she can't believe Malakal voted Ami out over Erik. "It was basically my doing," Ozzy explains with his arm around her. Um, seriously -- did I miss something? What is this? I guess they know each other from being on Exile Island before but...come on. Weren't they there for just a day? And spending most of that time futilely looking for the immunity idol? And isn't Ozzy with Amanda? We get an answer to the last question, at least, as we cut to Amanda, who's watching the proceedings with a scowl on her face. "I'm ready to go beyond Fans vs. Favorites," Ozzy says magnanimously. Alexis tells us that she got to know Ozzy at Exile Island and was a fan of his from his original season, so this is great. Amanda stews. "You smell good," Ozzy tells Alexis. I think he's drunk on merge feast wine. But still. Amanda tells us that she and Ozzy have been together for twenty-two days now, so it definitely bothers her that Alexis thinks she can just come in and take Amanda's place. "I want her gone," Amanda says. What about Ozzy? He's the one flirting with another girl right in front of you. Alexis can only be a hutwrecker if Ozzy lets her!