Episode Report Card Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Score one for the Darwinists
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.06.2005
Finally, we're back in the prison. Michael and Abruzzi walk into the visitor's lounge to meet with the ever-dapper Philly Falzone. After the (lack of) niceties, Philly asks how Michael found him. Michael snots, "I did my homework." Philly replies, "You get elliptical with me for one more second, and I will cancel you." He sounds like a network exec threatening a TV show. Abruzzi urges him, "Give it up, fish." Michael monologues in a monotone: "Before someone's transferred to the U.S. Marshal Service and placed in witness protection, they're guarded by a local sheriff from the county where the trial will take place. If the sheriff was available, then he wasn't the one guarding Fibonacci. There were only four sheriffs in the county, and since Pronzo was the one who wasn't in his office and his wife and kids were waiting for him at home, I knew he was the one with Fibonacci."
Both Mafia guys are impressed. Michael continues, "Thing is, sometimes it takes weeks for the Marshal Service to set up a new identity. So some local sheriff's stuck in the middle of nowhere with Fibonacci. He gets lonely. He calls home. A lot. I called the phone company and said I was Pronzo and I'd lost my bill. I asked for another copy. It seemed Mrs. Pronzo was receiving dozens of calls from an area code a long way from Chicago. I went online, reverse-traced the number and voila, there was Fibonacci's exact location."
Philly wants to know how they can be sure Fibonacci's still there. Michael says he has someone looking after Fibonacci. Of course he does. Philly finally asks, "This is about money, isn't it?" Contempt reeking from every pore, Michael says, "You're an astute man, Mr. Falzone." Falzone has the nerve to be outraged at what he perceives as extortion. Michael points out that his post-prison prospects are considerably diminished and he wants a nest egg of $200,000. Abruzzi threatens to kill Michael and he coldly spits back, "Quid pro quo." He should have said, "Quid pro TOE." Abruzzi then snarls, "Well, I'll give you some quid pro quo," and slams a picture of Veronica on the table. A rousing cheer goes up in the forum. Michael asks, "Where did you get this? Who took this picture?" Abruzzi and his road-tripping vowels slur, "Since you took it upon yourself to have someone watching over our interests, we took it upon ourselves to have some people watching over yours. So who's it going to be? Fibonacci or your pretty little girlfriend here?" The forum begins chanting, "Ve-RON-i-ca! Ve-RON-i-ca! Give us Veronica!" Abruzzi's little snigger makes Peter Lorre seem suave. Even Philly seems repelled. We close in on the photo. Poor Veronica. Even in still photos, the wardrobe people dress her like she's mentally disabled.
Commercials. Oh my goodness, Duracell's using penguins to sell their batteries. Adorable, swimming, waddling penguins. I'm nearly incoherent with delight. Penguins!