Episode Report Card Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Score one for the Darwinists
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.06.2005
When we get back from commercials, Abruzzi is busy carrying on about how Michael needs to be careful about who visits him. Michael growls, "If you touch her, I'll kill you myself." Philly dismisses that as an empty threat and presses for the address. Michael dithers for a moment, then says, "Promise me it'll be quick and painless." Philly elects to laugh instead. Michael persists. Philly's not having it, and Michael says, "Canada. 345 Hamilton Avenue, Thunder Bay, Ontario." I can't tell you how disappointed I am that nobody thought to put Fibonacci in a house with a Fibonacci series for an address...358 Main Street, for example.
Anyway, Michael stalks off and Abruzzi looks relieved. Philly's fallen in love with him all over again. The two kiss and make up, and Abruzzi gets Falzone to rectify the PI situation that day.
Meanwhile, on the outside...we're in Montgomery, Illinois, which is a Rockwellian small town currently grappling with the menace of star-spangled bunting. A wider camera pan reveals that this is but one tentacle of the many-armed monster known as a political media event. It's also the setting for Kellerman's snippy conversation with Madame Vice President Dark Mistress. She's already in a testy mood, having ripped off the head of a speechwriter and nibbled on it (stupid Atkins diet with its protein-based snacks). He's fairly testy too, with what his fractured phalanges. She snaps, "Remember who you are talking to. I am the vice president of this country." Kellerman contradicts her: "No, actually, you're Caroline Reynolds, from Montgomery, Illinois. I know exactly who you are." Couldn't she be both? Apparently not, if her reaction is any judge. Madame Vice President Dark Mistress -- friends call her "Caroline," but I don't think we're that close yet -- tells Kellerman that if he had done his damn job, she wouldn't have called in Quinn. He tells her in all seriousness, "You woke a sleeping beast when you called those guys in." Those guys? What guys? Amway? The Promise Keepers? Raider Nation? Kellerman continues, "They have a bigger agenda than any of us, and they get real nasty, real quick." Yeah, that's still not clearing it up for me, Special K. The upshot: now that Quinn's on the scene, nobody's safe. From...who knows what.
Speaking of my new magnificent bastard crush, there he is, hanging with Veronica's old flame, Victor Von Doomed. We see him talk his way into Victor's apartment with a clever blend of truth (Veronica's apartment exploded; there were fatalities) and lies (Veronica's insurance company needs to find out if she's okay). Victor does not think to ask why Veronica wouldn't have gotten in touch with her insurance company following an incident that would, at the least, have had her maxing out the deductible on her renter's insurance. Such is the power of Quinn!
Meanwhile Linc bounces around his cell. It's a very kinesthetic method of emotional actualization, but if it works for him, okay. He flings himself back on his bunk and picks up the report he was sent in the last episode. After a second of staring at the page, he's back to hopping around like an espresso-addled marmoset. Then Linc stares at the page again, with an expression like, If! I! Could! Only! Read! We switch to the outside of the hall, where the False Pope is taking roll call. Linc's last-meal request shoots out. The False Pope says, "Blueberry pancakes, huh? All right, man. You got it." Then he scampers off for another quickie with Becky.