Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: C | 5 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Campfire Stories
By Cindy McLennan | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.07.2013
Sidebar: So you all just saw that, right? I mean, a week or two ago, Stefan was revving up his motorcycle outside Mossy Manse so that Klaus -- who was down in the dungeon -- wouldn't overhear what Elena was saying... over the phone. And yet, this group, which includes four vampires -- one of them an Original -- never heard this man following them? Jeremy heard him first. I don't even want to finish this recap.
Shane leads the gang to a cabin. When Stefan asks, "What is this place?" Shane lays some island lore on us. Spring Breakers came and ended up dead -- completely drained of blood. Damon thinks that since someone just tried to attack them and that someone ended up with a hatchet in his back, so perhaps now is not the time to camp. Shane insists they're safer camping than hiking in the dark. Oh for crying out loud, Shane! You're with four vampires, a ridiculously amped-up witch and a mystical hunter. Damon's with me and tries to get Shane to tell him where the cure is. When Shane asks Damon how stupid he thinks he is, Damon speaks for me: "Stupid enough to raise an immortal witch, so I'd say... incredibly." Master Manipulator that we're supposed to think he is, Shane needles Damon. He's surprised he wants the cure, since he stands to lose Elena once she's human. Damon lets this get to him, which is extremely disappointing. Evil Pixie Monster, we were just on the same page. Now you're over there, ready to mope. Come back to my page. It's much more fun!
Elena overhears this, so when Damon walks off a little, Elena follows and tries to reassure him that Shane doesn't know what he's talking about. Damon figures they'll find out, tomorrow. Elena says, "Do you really think I'm going to take this cure, break the sire bond and fall out of love with you?" For Damon, the problem is that they don't know what will happen. Elena promises the cure will change so many things. "Jeremy's not going to want to kill me, anymore. We're finally going to get rid of Klaus. Bonnie's mom's not going to be a vampire. And anyone who wants to take this cure is going to have this option. [...] You, if you want it." When Damon mocks the idea that the Bore is going to be wonderful, Elena again makes her point. Her feelings for him won't change. She seals this promise with a kiss, but Damon is still uneasy.
Caroline arrives at Gilbert Gables to find that Tyler is still there, gloating. She tries to get him to stop, but Tyler plans on being present for every moment of Klaus's misery. Caroline changes the subject and sets about to tidying up the joint. When she and Tyler cover up Kol's corpse with a tablecloth, Klaus makes his booboo face and points out that since both Carol Lockwood and Kol are dead, they're even. I wish Tyler would point out he didn't kill Kol and wasn't even involved in Elena's cockamamie plan, but that's not in the script. When Klaus asks Caroline to call Bonnie and get her to free him, Caroline says she'll never help him. Klaus tries to guilt Caroline by pointing out that he freed Tyler from the pain of transitioning and he saved Caroline's life. I wait for Caroline to rebut him by mentioning that he only had to save her, because he compelled (sire-bond ordered is clunky, so I'm just going with compelled) Tyler to bite her in the first place. That's not in the script, either. What is in the script, though, is a mention of Aunt Jenna and how Klaus killed her, too. She stops herself mid-rant and says, "You are not even worth the calories I burn talking to you." That's tortured dialogue. Vampire or not, what teenaged girl is worried about burning too many calories? It's all a set-up for Klaus's next line. He grabs a lamp, stabs Caroline with it and uses it to pull her into reach, then bites her neck. Letting her slump to the floor, Klaus turns to Tyler. With her blood still on his lips, he says, "Now that was definitely worth the calories." Ah well, at least no one said "epic" in that scene.