Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Je Ne Regrette Rien
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.13.2013
A: "I don't feel guilty about drinking, and I don't do drugs..."
(Long pause, just like Alicia said.)
Q: "Why are you suddenly laughing hysterically?"
A: "Because I am super weird. And your long pauses are also."
Suddenly Elsbeth jumps up and starts yelling at Alicia -- you know, like a crazy person would do -- having solved the case of Nelson Kimora: Anna was pregnant. ICSH is the male equivalent of LH -- luteinizing hormone -- which is where the ghosting came from.
Alicia, cutely: "But the Olympics were ten months ago! She'd have an infant!"
Elsbeth: "Um, unless those pills he was bringing her were mifepristone. Get out there, girlfriend. Come on."
What I know about mifepristone is that you wouldn't take it the day before the Olympics. Well, no. What I know about mifepristone is that one time I saw a girl on a very good TV show called The LA Complex take it, and the next thing you know she threw up on a piano, and that's actually literally all I know about RU486, because I am a gay dude.
L/G
Anna: "Uh no, I'm not telling my parents about my terminated pregnancy. They are the worst. How do you think I ended up an Olympic-level athlete? Not by having normal parents, that's for fucking sure."
L/G: "Then what ... do you want?"
Anna pulls open her flip-top head to reveal some very understandable crazy going on in there, namely that she feels like a total asshole for aborting a kid just because she wanted to get a medal at the Olympics. No judging, but I can see how that would drive you up the wall. What I don't get -- and Diane certainly doesn't get, because she already solved this one for herself before Anna was even born, which is why Diane is amazing -- is how she expected anybody else to deal with this problem.
Diane: "Here's the problem, we can defend you with the truth. If you tell the truth, you will get your $5M contract and you will run on Monday. If you don't, you will lose both."
Anna: "Then fine."
Diane: "Then what the fuck are we doing here?"
Anna: "Couldn't you just perjure yourselves? Like as a totally awesome favor?"
FLORRICKS
Alicia: "I find myself in a state of sexual upheaval so I'm phoning to set up a booty call later, okay?"
Peter: "I am oblivious to like everything. What's going on otherwise?"