Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Death be not proud
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 06.23.2001
Later, David and Nate are presenting their business plan to Mom. Basically, they plan to compete by providing their customers with the "human touch." Then again, I've seen Nate's idea of a "human touch," and while offering free blowjobs probably would ensure a substantial clientele, I'm not really sure it's an appropriate marketing gimmick for a funeral home. It's more like something Salon would try. The boys want to modernize the operation, install computers, and start advertising. They also want to borrow $93,000 from Mom (via Dad's life insurance) to finance the whole thing. She thinks for a minute, and then decides to officially become an investor in Fisher & Sons. They boys are shocked that she caved so quickly, but Mom just says, "I can invest in either my boys or tech stocks. Anything is better than the track." As she leaves the room, she asks David to join her at church every now and then, because she doesn't want to go alone now that the Late Nate is, well, late. Once she's gone, Nate says, "Well, that was weird," and David says it gets even weirder: Gilardi wants to meet.
David's room. Since we've never even seen it before now, I won't make you come up with a nickname. Yet. He's psyching himself up in the mirror to talk to Gilardi, and he asks Paco for advice. Paco demonstrates how he would respond if someone tried to mess with his own business, and said response basically includes grabbing Gilardi by the throat, slamming him down on a chair, and telling him, "I'll cut your fucking stomach and watch your guts spill out." It certainly has the desired effect on David, who looks scared out of his mind. "You gotta step up," says Paco, but David points out that "stepping up" landed Paco in the morgue. "That's right," he answers. "Twenty years I lived my life like a man. When are you gonna start?" When, indeed?
Okay, how about now? David, Nate, and Gilardi are in a restaurant. Nate peruses a new document which indicates that Kroehner has lowered their offer. The boys still won't sell, however, and Gilardi says that if they don't accept the offer by the end of the day, he'll "make it [his] personal mission to bury [them] by the end of the month." Cut to David, looking steely. He leans forward and starts in on Gilardi: "You have the entire Kroehner organization behind you, and what do we have? You. Because someday, when your mind isn’t on Fisher & Sons, I will find you or someone you love." Gilardi laughs. David ignores him and continues, "I'm not saying anyone is going to die. There are tragedies far worse than death. Things you couldn't even dream of, you spineless, candy-ass corporate fuck." I prefer Greedy Little Nazi Fuck better, but whatever. Go David! Gilardi isn’t laughing anymore. "It's your decision," David tells him. "Are we really worth the trouble? Now lunch is over. Get lost." I prefer, "Get out. Now," but whatever. When Gilardi doesn't move, Nate chimes in with his sole contribution to the meeting: "Are you deaf?" Finally The Kroehner Kreep leaves, and David confesses that he's about to throw up.