Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B- | 153 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT You Can Dance If You Want To
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2006.10.10
Lane wakes up from a long pregnancy nap at her apartment and comes out to find Zach playing videogames. "I'm so tired all the time," she tells him. "It's weird." Zach doesn't even look at her, suggesting that her fatigue must be from the heat, or maybe beer. She says uh, no, she doesn't think she will be drinking beer for a while, though I don't know why she should bother abstaining, since beer could only make any child of Zach's smarter. Is the lovely Keiko Agena actually pregnant? I know she got married last year, right? There are a few scenes in this episode where she looks, from some angles, like she might truly be knocked up. Very exciting, if so. Zach remains clueless as Lane hints around about needing to consume more calcium, and having cravings for certain foods. "Oh, man," Zach interrupts, still only watching the game screen. "You know what I'm craving right now? Pizza bagels." Lane stares at him incredulously and goes out to see Rory at the book store...
...where Rory is reading up on how to be sexy while Lane peruses a book on how to be pregnant. Both of them are alarmed and disgusted by what they've found. "I can't write this stuff to Logan," Rory says. "I can barely read it to myself!" Lane, even more upset, says that no one ever tells you the details about childbirth "because the details are gross and scary and unacceptable." Lane says that apparently, in about three months, she can look forward to dark spots on her face, "because it's not enough to just get fat." Rory tries to reassure her, saying that it's not fat, it's a baby, but Lane rants on. She used to be all into the fact that Zach is big and manly: "Which means that I'm gonna have a big, manly baby, and I'm a small woman!" Rory gives Lane a quizzical look: "I never thought of Zach as big and manly." Lane says that compared to Henry Lee, who her mother wanted her to marry, Zach is. "Yeah," Rory says, "but he was your second cousin. I think you would have had other problems with those babies." Lane says that the baby will have to figure out some other way to be born, because she's not doing it. Plus, she says, Zach doesn't seem to remember hearing about the baby at all: "I don't know how things get lost in the recesses of Zach's brain, but I think he forgot." I am pretty sure he forgot because he does nothing but sit around smoking bowls all day. There, I said it.