Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, he is free at last!
By Aaron | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.18.2003
You know what's sad? As crappy a warden as Leo might be, he's still a huge improvement over Tim "Meditative Maze" McManus. Can you really blame Ellie for trading her way up the penal scale?
Oh, please. I said "penal," not "penile." You people are sick.
Down in solitary, Claire is taunting Penders and White with the news that Martinez has "bought the farm." Omar, however, doesn't even know what "bought the farm" means, so the news is largely lost on him. That joke is largely lost on me, by the way, even if the forums would seem to indicate that I'm the only one who didn't find it funny.
Meanwhile, Dave Brass is upstairs, cornering Murphy to tell him that Martinez made a deathbed confession fingering Morales as the guy who ordered his tendon to be slashed. Because this plot moves at the speed of Oz (which is just under 186,000 miles per second), the very next shot is of Morales being led into solitary, where he finds himself alone in a cell with Brass, Claire, and Murphy. Oh, that's not good. They quickly bind him facedown and pants-less on the bed, and Brass hovers over his ankles with a switchblade while he does what all good villains do: over-explain. "Martinez cut me right here," he says, "and ruined my chances of ever playing pro ball. And I have this limp. So you see, Enrique, if I only cut the one, you'll limp like I do. But if I cut them both, you'll walk fine." Which of course leads one to wonder why Dave's doctor didn't just trim the other one for him, but it's probably best not to think too much about these things. Two quick flicks of the wrist later, Morales lies screaming in a pool of his own blood and tendon fluid, and Penders and White recoil in horror at the sound. ["Monsieur, I beg your pardon." -- Marie Antoinette, speaking to her executioner after stepping on his foot (guillotined, October 16, 1793.)]
Death row. Father Mukada, looking sprightly and cheerful now that his satanic nemesis is gone, ministers to a weepy Jaz Hoyt, who claims to be seeing the devil everywhere he looks after having been taken over by whatever evil spirit was possessing Timmy Kirk. "I'm not crazy," insists Hoyt. "I see the devil, right over your shoulder." BD Wong's slow burn as he turns to check is definitely the funniest (and probably the gayest) look of the episode.
Mukada then tries to convince Sister Pete that Hoyt really is insane, only she's not buying it. I don't buy it either, but that's mostly just because Evan Seinfeld isn't much of a dramatic actor. Given his, er, other attributes, I think we all know what kind of post-Oz movie work this guy will be up for. Sister Pete accuses Father Mukada of only wanting to help Hoyt in order to assuage his guilt over Timmy Kirk, and then they go off to read a Brother Cadfael mystery and a Mother Jones magazine together.