Episode Report Card Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There's A First Time For Everything
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.06.2005
Matt's still in Vincent's driveway. Finally, Vincent's SUV pulls in. I was hoping it would run Matt over, or at least Your Pharmacist, Irving, but it does not. Matt is shocked to see Ruthie sitting in the passenger seat of the car. Vincent's crappy parents exit the vehicle and ask Matt what he's doing at their house. Matt starts babbling on about appendicitis, so the VinRents dismiss him, saying his services are no longer needed. I think the VinRents are robots. Ruthie thanks Matt for lying to her. Matt suggests that the couple walk to the Promenade. "Maybe not!" says Ruthie as she closes the car window in Matt's face. Vincent backs out over the mailbox. Instead of getting out of the car to check out the damage, he simply drives away. His parents don't really seem to care. That's one of the benefits of having parents who don't parent.
Annie and Lucy aren't so happy about Ruthie's date anymore. Lucy wonders if it would have been better for Ruthie to have gone on a group date, but Annie says she doesn't understand that concept. I bet she understood it when Jack, Sam, and Al were fighting over her. Lucy agrees that group dates are too casual. Annie says she likes the old-fashioned way. Savannah speaks for the viewers, who don't understand why so much screen time was devoted to a subject as trivial as Brenda's opinions on teenage group dates, with a burp.
Ruthie and Vincent appear to be watching some stupid cartoon. "Should I kiss you?" Vincent asks Ruthie. When I was Ruthie's age, my best friend dated a guy who said that EXACT SAME THING to her. And then it turned out that he was gay. I'm just saying. Ruthie agrees to the kiss, but suggests they make it quick. So they kiss. They are then showered with popcorn, which we see is coming from a few rows back, where the patriarchy has established itself. At first, the other movie patrons, who are also being hit with popcorn, seem to mind, but after a few seconds, they go back to smiling and watching the movie. Why must everyone in this town bow to the Camdens? I would have had quite a few things to say if I were in that theater, and none of them would be appropriate for this television show. Or any television show, even before that FCC obscenity crackdown I keep hearing so much about. As the CamMen waste their five-dollar buckets of popcorn, they comment on their seats. Martin says he can see Vincent and Ruthie very well from his, to which Kevin says he'd like to switch seats with him. Ew. RevCam says he wants to move up a few rows. Ew again. Finally, the popcorn siege is ended when an usher walks up and tells them all to leave. On his way out, Kevin says he's a police officer. "Then you should know better," says the usher. And Kevin? You may want to check on your job status: I have a feeling that even the Glenoak Police Department doesn't take too kindly to its officers taking off an indeterminate amount of time for paternity leave. Ruthie waves goodbye to the men with a big old smirk on her face, then turns and leans her head on Vincent's shoulder.
Ruthie turns the front porch light off for her good-night kiss with Vincent because, as I'm sure she's learned from that time she saw her parents have sex, lights off is the way. Finally, Ruthie enters the house. Matt is waiting for her and he says that she is "way too interested in kissing." Yeah, and he's way too interested in her being way too interested in kissing. Ruthie says she can't help liking to kiss because she's a Camden. This does lend credence to the nurture versus nature argument. Ruthie says she had a great time and might be seeing Vincent again. Matt says that dating stinks and he's glad he's married. Yeah, sure. I hope you've got plenty of Kleenex in your NYC apartment, Dopey.