Episode Report Card Sobell: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Girl Named Disaster
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.13.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Michael's subjected to the hot box -- a big cage swaddled in plastic wrap -- for all of, like, ten minutes before he folds like a T-shirt fresh from the dryer and begins telling all to General Zavala, the idealistic crusader who took down Lechero and will usher in a new day of law and order. Zavala drags in Whistler, and then it's only a matter of time before Whistler's rolled over on Susan B. (a.k.a. "Gretchen"). Zarala brings Susan B. over to Sona, and before you can say "Waterboarding!" -- well, he's done it, but she's ostensibly given up LJ's location.
Of course, Susan B.'s merely leading Zarala to a secluded area so she can take him out and resume her duties as the emotionally unbalanced cat's-paw of the One World Conspiracy. Also, so far as she's concerned: torture, schmorture. She's a credit to the administration.
Meanwhile, Linc and Sucre scheme to make Susan B. think Sucre's working for her. Watching them plot is sort of like watching monkeys discovering fire, but I look forward to seeing how this backfires on them in the next four episodes.
And finally, inside the prison: Well, Mahone's back, and after a sweetly emotional send-off from Agent Lang, he keeps the faith with her by spurning T-Bag's offer of free dope for life and clicking to her lucky coin as he goes through withdrawal. I should probably mention that T-Bag's free-dope-for-life offer came with one big string attached: throw down the chicken foot with Sammy. Given a choice between that and withdrawal, I would have chosen the latter as well. Anyhoodle, Bellick also goes into the ring, cheats, and manages to live. T-Bag is like, "I must remember Bellick's new skills, and use them in my future machinations." Oh, scheme away, T-Bag. Scheme away! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously this season on Prison Break: Michael learned that the One World Conspiracy threw him into prison just so he could break out again with some guy named Whistler. To motivate him, the One World Conspiracy kidnapped Dr. Sara and L.J., and assigned a PTSD-addled mercenary as their minder. We're introduced to her as "Susan B. Anthony," but her real name may be Gretchen. The unpredictable Susan B. is Linc's contact on the outside, and when he nearly succeeds in breaking out her hostages, she retaliates by beheading Dr. Sara. Eventually, Linc breaks the news to Michael, and Michael manages to multitask, working his displays of grief into his first escape attempt. Note how I wrote "attempt." The One World Conspiracy gets impatient, so they just decide to send in a lot of helicopters and guns, thereby raising the question, "If you could do this all along, what made you think it was a good idea to make a petulant genius with a huge hate-on for you do the job?" and the ancillary question, "If this is indicative of the brains behind the One World Conspiracy, how have they managed to stay number one? Is there a Number Two World Conspiracy that tries harder? Can we see them?" These, along with other questions like, "So who is the president of the United States at this point?" "How has T-Bag managed to stay alive?" and "Was it really necessary to make Mahone chase the dragon?", remain unanswered. Anyway, in the final pre-break episode, Michael manages to ruin Whistler's chances for escape but somehow the whole thing gets pinned on him, thanks to his whole breaking-out-of-prison reputation. And before Michael can even protest, "Do you see any helicopters in these tattoos?" (Answer: No. Because we haven't seen any tattoo action this season either) he's frog-marched out of Sona's courtyard.
And now...Michael is still being marched out of the courtyard. The inmates have all rushed to the windows so they might watch him go. Whistler is still shirtless. I note this with approval, by the way.
Anyway, Michael eventually makes his way into the guards' office and the new guy in charge wants some alone time with him. General Zavala introduces himself as the successor to Il Douche, and orders Michael to sit. He does offer him some water, which is hospitable. As Michael sits, he says, "With all due respect, General, I had nothing to do with what happened here today." He does not add, "My escape attempts are typically less flashy and far more dependent on a complex web of perilous contingencies." Zavala responds, "I always conduct a thorough investigation, and there are too many unanswered questions here. It is my job to find those answers." Oooh, I hope his unanswered questions are the same as my unanswered questions!