Episode Report Card Sobell: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Girl Named Disaster
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.13.2008
Back in Sona, Mahone's going through a very dramatic withdrawal fit on his bunk. T-Bag comes over after one particularly bad spasm and coos, "It's okay, I came back for you." As he proffers a loaded syringe, he urges, "Come on...everything's going to be okay. You can't deprive yourself like this." Mahone stammers, "Guh-get out of here." T-Bag wheedles, "You don't mean that." Mahone barks, "Yeah, I do, I do." T-Bag instantly turns venomous, hissing, "You're not talking straight. Withdrawals are the worst way to die. You're going to shake...until you evaporate into nothing. It's a long, bumpy road into Hell. Is that what you want, Alex? Or do you want to LOVE?" Mahone stands up and gasps shakily that he'll see T-Bag on the other side. T-Bag pockets his syringe with a tight little smile, then pushes Mahone to the ground with a scream of anger. Mahone stays curled in the fetal position on the floor. T-Bag stands over him, lip curled in contempt, and says, "When you're up all night, and diarrhea is running down both your legs and vomit is in your hair [kicks Mahone once in the kidneys], don't come crawling back." He stalks off, and we see that Mahone has grabbed the lucky silver half-dollar and is clutching it for all he's worth. Let's give another shout-out to Agent Lang!
Meanwhile, on the outside...Linc meets Susan B. in the bar. She's nursing a scotch, and she looks up begrudgingly to say, "It's been a long day. Let's just get this over with." Linc dutifully tells her that Michael says everything's going according to plan. Susan B.'s frankly skeptical, but Linc coolly ripostes, "You know Michael -- always has things worked out." Susan B. snaps back, "No, I don't. Seems to me he always keeps screwing things up." Linc says heatedly, "Well, he's getting things done a whole lot faster than you. Now, Whistler's out by tomorrow, all right?" How convenient it is that he said that right as General Zavala his own bad self comes marching in, asking, "Gretchen Morgan?" Susan B. turns around and says, "Yes?" and before Zavala can even finish introducing himself, he and his military posse have rounded Susan B. up and are marching her away. As she's spirited toward the door, Linc hollers, "I had nothing to do with this! I had nothing to do with this!" Susan B. gives him a look like, I'm SO SURE. Also, Sucre is going to owe ME fifty large before this is done.
The next scene has Zavala recapping whatever questioning took place off-screen as Susan B. channels someone else's inner ingénue and blushingly protests, "I have never been here before in my life." She also claims not to know Whistler, and Zavala asks, "You know what I've been told?" "From prisoners? I can only imagine!" the breathy innocent replies. I love it. Zavala says, "I've been told you masterminded a prison escape, and you kidnapped a boy as collateral." Susan B. turns on the waterworks as she feigns disbelief. Then she overdoes it with, "Am I an alien? Did I shoot JFK? Sir, I have no idea what this James Wilson is. I am just here to relax before I have to go back for another year of teaching social studies to freshman idiots." Good lord, can you imagine Susan B. as your world history teacher? She'd kidnap your homecoming date the first time you blew a pop quiz. Zavala skeptically asks if Susan B.'s a tourist. "Not a tourist, sir. I like to think of myself as a student of life," she says. Zavala's obliquely amused by this: "Student of liiiiiiiife." Then he opens a door and orders someone to turn on a hose. I think Susan B.'s about to become a student of Geneva rights violations too.