Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The One Where Everybody Died, Part Two
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.18.2002
Somewhere far from CTU, the Tim McVan pulls up to some abandoned road or parking lot surrounded by trees and overlooking a valley of some sort. Eddie takes Kiefer over to his car -- one of those boxy town cars from the seventies that white supremacists always seem to be driving -- and calls Joe Wald on his cell phone. Joe Wald -- still unseen -- gives him an address where Kiefer is to be brought to see him. Eddie writes it down on a matchbook -- only capitalist techno fags carry Palm Pilots -- and gets into the car. Kiefer pulls out his gun and tells Eddie that he's under arrest. Um, was this a smart move? They're still within site of the rest of the junkyard gang, who are in the process of dynamiting the Tim McVan to destroy the evidence. Kiefer makes him hand over the matchbook with Wald's address on it. Eddie does as he's told, but reminds Kiefer that he, Kiefer, the federal agent, participated in a bombing. "I know what I did," says Kiefer, reading the address off of the matchbook and telling Eddie to hand over his gun. As he backs up out of the car, the Junkyard Gang sees what's going down. SpindlyBeckLookalike pulls out a gun and starts shooting. The extras pull out their guns and start shooting. It's a gunfight featuring gas-powered motor vehicles in motion. Kiefer shoots everyone dead within seconds, including his boyfriend Eddie. He pulls DeadEddie out of the Winston-mobile, dumps his body by the side of the road, gets behind the wheel, and drives off. The screen splits, and we see multiple shots of the van burning beside the bodies of the Junkyard Gang. The time is 11:10:29 AM.
The time is 11:15:56 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer prowls the streets of suburban L.A. in the Winston-mobile, Rolaide sits in her office in front of Palmer, Spawn awaits word from the emergency room doctors on how JonBenet is doing, and at CTU, the rescue workers are trying to make some sense of the bombing. Kiefer speeds along and whips out a cell phone. He calls CTU. Bitchelle answers her desk phone, which is covered with rubble -- hello? building was just bombed? -- and gives him the casualty report (twenty-one dead and counting). Kiefer asks why the building wasn't evacuated. Bitchelle informs him that there wasn't enough time. Kiefer is konfused by this news. He tells Bitchelle that he's located Joe Wald, and he's heading over to Wald's house. Oh, and the Junkyard Gang is totally dead. Bitchelle tells him that Mason wasn't there for the blast, and that she's sending back-up to Joe Wald's house. Ironically, Kiefer informs Bitchelle that everything worked out with Kim getting out of the blast range. They finally got in touch with each other, and she's headed for Aunt Carol's. Bitchelle is all, "Yeah, she spoke to Soul Patch." So then Kiefer wants to know why Spawn spoke to Soul Patch. Bitchelle manages not to really answer him. Back at Darlene's pile-on, one of the rescue workers helping Soul Patch removed something from the pile that he shouldn't have, and there's a big thud sound. Ouch. Bitchelle gives Soul Patch Kiefer's news. "He asked about his daughter," she says. Soul Patch realizes that Spawn was probably in the building when the blast happened, and starts to freak out. He tells Bitchelle to check the security log for the building -- the very security log that Spawn signed before she almost entered CTU. I see what's coming!