Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Thought You Can't Think
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.02.2011
In a rare show of stealth, the girls all get out of the car and slam their doors as loudly as possible, then clop-clop across the street to peek inside Toby's windows. This actually happens:
Spencer: "Hanna, walk quieter."
Hanna: "She can't hear us! She's blind!"
Inside the house is abruptly Jenna, who abruptly takes off her clothes in front of the open window with a scary grin on her face as though she is attempting to seduce the Liars. Then, she takes off her giant shades so you know she's still blind or else she would never do that because she looks crazy with them off. Then Garrett grinds her from behind.
Liars: "Oh my God, Garrett and Jenna! We have solved the case of whether they are dating, and the answer is that they are dating! No wonder he had that lantern, it's probably her creepy way of saying thanks for the sex! That's so Jenna."
NEXT AM
Emily is in the Marin kitchen, doing crunches and grunting because -- just like every day of her life -- today is the day of the big swim meet that defines her entire future. At every point in this episode she slathers on more pain cream, like, every time you see the punctuation mark we call a period (".") just assume that she's dabbing some on.
Hanna: "Emily, stop it. You know physical exercise is a trigger image for me."
Emily, rolling around in a puddle of pain cream: "I-cannot-ever-stop."
Hanna: "Let's discuss the whole thing we already discussed last night about Jenna and Garrett and how finally finding out they're dating proves nothing and solves nothing because we still have no idea what she has to do with anything and we've already decided fifty times not to trust Garrett."
Emily, squirting pain cream everywhere: "I-need-to-carb-load."
Hanna: "Have this thimble of OJ."
Emily, workin' that pain cream: "That-is-too-much-OJ-I-have-to-watch-my-sugar-intake."
Hanna, awesomely: "Oh yeah? Watch me intake this big-ass bowl of Cocoa Puffs!"
Hanna: "Hey Emily, are you always this psycho before a meet? Ya givin' me Spencer Eyes right now."
Emily, pain cream in hand: "Between whatever poison is eating me from the inside out, this pain cream to which I've clearly become addicted, the most important swim meet of all time, the fact that I'm lying to my parents in absentia -- not to mention the fact that I am growing nards -- I do not have time for anything that slows me down, like thinking or feelings."
Hanna: "I never bother with those things. Listen, are you still feeling Jiminy Crickets about lying to your parents? Because a conscience is also not something I have time for."
Emily: "I actually take lying to my parents seriously, because my parents can be trusted. But I understand where you're..."
Hanna: "-- Pause. Apparently my dad stayed over and fucked my mom last night?"