Episode Report Card Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pardon me!
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.06.2003
Back at the police station, the Teen Twosome wait to be signed out some more. Megan can be seen walking behind the glass, escorted by an officer. She breaks away and runs up to Spawn. For some reason, no one does anything about this, and the girly blondes embrace. JonBenet informs Spawn that she's being picked up by her "Aunt Emily" who lives in Santa Barbara…out of the nuclear blast radius. Spawn cries tears of joy over this news. OWSP notices Spawn's obvious relief and leads JonBenet to Aunt Emily. "Santa Barbara, that's like fifty miles from L.A.?" says Spawn. "More like a hundred," says Enricky. Oh, goody for JonBenet! Too bad about the other ten million people who are going to be vaporized…
Back at CTU, Marie waits for Reza. Soul Patch and Mason escort Reza past her. Bitchelle interrupts them to tell them that the hostiles are dead, but Nina took Kiefer hostage. Mason goes off to deal with it and asks Soul Patch to take Reza to Papa Crew's office. "Let me to-alk to heh," says Reza, about Marie. At first Soul Patch doesn't want to, but Reza points out that they "weh supposed to get married in an ow-ah." The lov-ahs unite. Marie tells Reza that a "top lawyer" is on his way to CTU to get Reza out of this mess. "I'm not going to need a law-yah," says Reza. Marie is confused. She's been crying so hard, she looks like Amber Valletta before she went to rehab. Reza explains that Papa Crew is the one with terrorist ties, and by exposing him, Reza will get immunity. That doesn't go over well with Marie, who bitches Reza out for turning on Papa Crew after everything he's done for Reza. "He teh-ned on me," says Reza. "He teh-ned on us!" Marie just walks away like she needs a sandwich to stop the room from spinning. Reza tries to follow her, but he can't because Soul Patch has got him. The time is 04:48:02 PM.
The time is 04:52:17 PM. The phone rings in Palmer's office at NSA. Palmer makes PMHC get the phone, because he knows it's Nina and he doesn't want to talk to her until she gives him "something in return." At the other end of the line, a cell phone can be seen in a pile of hay. Apparently, it has outstanding speakerphone capabilities, because Nina is able to negotiate herself another pardon from several yards away without having to put down the gun and get the phone herself. "I'll tell you where the bomb is in exchange for immunity," says Nina. PMHC points out that Nina already has immunity. "This is for a crime I haven't committed yet," says Nina. PMHC asks what the crime is. "The murder of Kiefer," answers Nina. Palmer, who is listening in, is stunned. Kiefer urges Palmer to take the deal since they have no choice. The needs of the many over the needs of the few, yadda yadda yadda. Palmer gets on another line to confer with Mason and Bitchelle. They also feel they have no choice, since Nina is their only chance to stop the B-O-M-B. Palmer acts for a few seconds, then gets on the line with Nina and promises her "everything she asks for" when and if they successfully stop the B-O-M-B. Nina gives up the address of Syed Ali's house. Mason tells Soul Patch to send some agents over. Palmer asks Kiefer if there's "anything [he] can do." Kiefer asks him to take care of his daughter and tell her that he, Kiefer, loves her. Palmer starts to kry. "There's only one choice to make and you made it," says Kiefer. Rolaide enters to tell him that the press corps is waiting. Palmer grabs a tissue and looks over the speech she's "prepared." Lady Mac watches from her makeshift desk as Palmer tells Rolaide that he's noticed she's "made changes." Um, I thought Rolaide made a big point of telling Lady Mac that Palmer hadn't seen the speech yet. Whatever. "It's better," says Palmer, who I guess is a graduate of the Evelyn Wood School of Speed-Reading. Rolaide takes the credit; Lady Mac gives her a smug look.
Back at the Sex Cave of Ali Baba, PonchoDude is doing something painful to the naked flesh of Mikey Palmice. I can't tell what, though. Cate begs PonchoDude and Ali McBeal to stop torturing him. "I don't know what you want," pleads Cate. "Yes you do," says Syed. "How can I tell you what I don't know?" screeches a desperate Cate. PonchoDude and Ali Landry exchange meaningful glances, as if they agree that enough is enough. PonchoDude takes out a gun and finishes Mikey Palmice off. Cate drops to her knees and sobs. "Kill her," says former heavyweight boxing champ Mohammed Ali, leaving the room. PonchoDude removes his glasses and poncho. The screen splits to reveal Palmer beginning his press conference while the Teen Twosome continue to wait in the police station and Reza is driven to Crew and Co.