Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Not So Great Outdoors
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 08.12.2012
But wait! There is actually a ton of food! It looks really good too. How did that even happen? In any case, Lauren starts to nag Vito, and then Chris tells her to join the Wakile RV permanently. Kathy is not sure how she feels about that. And then Lauren stomps off. Caroline says, "I can't help crazy, Christopher." Then everyone tells Lauren that she's oversensitive, which she is. You'd think all the food would make her happy and mellow! But no. Then everyone laughs at her and she goes and locks herself in the RV. Caroline makes the most motherly statement of all time by saying, "Lauren locked herself in it because she's an asshole." She then explains that Lauren feels left out, pushed out and not good enough in so many ways. Gee, I wonder why she would ever get that impression. Vito is the only person who loves Lauren enough to check in on her, and she explains to him that she only wants to have a relationship with her brothers, and all they do is act nasty toward her. Ditto for Caroline, as we have seen. I'm frankly surprised that she hasn't tried to guilt Lauren into eating only tree leaves for the duration of their vacation.
The next day, Lauren has finally gotten over it, at least temporarily, and has decided not to ruin everyone else's trip. Bad choice, Lauren. If she were smart, she'd join forces with the demented lunatic roaming the woods and wipe out all of her problems in memorable fashion. In any case, the group is going canoeing. Joe Gorga of course likes to go canoeing in his underwear. As the canoe guides point out some sort of river ticks, Melissa reminds us how much she hates nature and this trip in particular. It does seem like a very shitty trip. I guess this canoeing adventure is kind of like bumper cars, and you can also shoot water with river ticks in it at your fellow canoe-ers. Caroline and Albert make a point of canoeing off away from these dumb-asses so they can actually enjoy a peaceful afternoon on the river. And then a tick bit them and they died, the end.
Meanwhile, Melissa keeps telling Joe that they have a hole in their boat and it's sinking, and he tells her to shut up a bunch of times. And then all of a sudden there is frantic screaming for like 20 seconds. The Gorga boat has flipped. Everyone else thinks it's very funny. Melissa does not think it's funny. Wouldn't it be awesome if she emerged from the river covered in leeches? DEADLY LEECHES? Of all the things that could kill people out in the wilderness, I can't believe that none of these degenerates has died yet, or even been maimed! Bravo has really ripped us off this time.