Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Baldness <> Death
By Aaron | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 02.08.2003
Back in the present, Sammy is working the phones in the telemarketing center. "Let me tell you about the greatest political campaign of all," he says to the helpless housewife who's too polite to hang up on him. "It's Jesus' love, and God himself is running for office." Heh. And I've also just noticed that this guy looks way too much like Tim Bayliss from Homicide for his own good. When Crackhead Cosby catches him proselytizing on company time, he demands that Sammy perform a special penance, which turns out to involve pouring acid all over Arif's printing press. This causes Arif to come storming into Redding's pod the next day, demanding justice and threatening to go to Leo with his accusations. The Cos adopts a weary mien as he explains that no one will be tattling on anyone, because now Arif can collect the insurance on the printing press and make back all the money he and his partners have lost. No matter how hard he tries, Arif will never be able to muster even half the glare Said was capable of, and within thirty seconds he's already telling his fellow Muslims that what happened to their machinery was completely an accident. Wow. Who knew crackheads had that kind of business acumen? Well, besides Ken Lay, that is.
Ahh. At long last, we've finally arrived at the real meat of the episode. From here on out, it's all Cyril, all the time. Of course, this also means we're going to be repeatedly subjected to Hill's overtly political musings on the Supreme Court's recent rulings regarding capital punishment and the mentally retarded, so there is something of a trade-off involved. But with Gloria and Ryan standing practically cheek-to-cheek as they watch Cyril sleep, who can be bothered to care? Despite the fact that, when we last saw these two, Ryan was professing his undying love for her, Gloria remains all business as she suggests that lethal injection might not be the best way for Cyril to be executed. She recommends using the electric chair instead, because Cyril has already been through ECT, and would probably think that the chair isn't all that different from the normal sessions. Except for the part where his usual ECT sessions involve lying on a bed instead of getting strapped into a chair with dozens of people watching, that is. And besides, you could tell Cyril he was going for a pony ride through Candyland with big brother Ryan and a couple of Care Bears, and he'd still probably be giddy with anticipation right up until they shove the needle into his arm. At any rate, Dean Winters scores first dibs on showing the family acting chops as he takes a moment to steel his resolve before heading into the hospital to talk with his brother.
Once there, he pulls up a chair and gets comfy next to Cyril's bed. "You want the good news first or the bad news?" he asks, and a groggy Cyril elects to open with the good. Ryan tells him that he'll be going in for his last ECT treatment in a couple of days, and because he's been "such a champ" about the whole thing, they're also going to fix up Cyril's cell with his very own TV, and even provide him with a special meal where he can eat anything he wants. "I can have a fluffernutter?" wonders an incredulous Cyril. "You can have two fluffernutters," replies his mournfully indulgent brother. Hmm. What is it with HBO and fluffernutters as a symbol of familial bonding? It's like they're the new sex and free meat or something. Anyway, the bad news is that Cyril is going to have to cut his hair, which I guess is only bad news if you happen to think Scott is the hotter Winters brother.