Episode Report Card Pamie: A | 47 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT The Safety Dance
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2004.09.21
MfTL calls Lane again. Lane opens her bedroom door (past her Fahrenheit 9/11 poster), and storms into the living room. Here's a shout-out to Sebastian Bach, who I saw when I went to see Todd Lowe in Justin Tanner's play a few weeks ago. Do you know how hard it was not to turn around and tell Liza Weil, who was sitting directly behind me the entire play, that I think she's a bad-ass motherfucker? It was hard. Seriously. The Band has been having a discussion about germs in Lane's absence, and now mfTL is afraid to touch a microphone. "I'm just saying, at the end of the night, who cleans them?" Brian asks. Sebastian Bach says he only has the sitter until 6, and then he's got to take the kids to Gymboree. MfTL reminds Sebastian Bach that he promised not to bring up anything parental during band practice. Sebastian Bach points out that they're not currently having band practice, and that he's not discussing a parental issue, but rather being part of the cycle of life: "And that, my friend, is pure rock and roll." MfTL: "Go join the Polyphonic Spree, you fruitcake." Brian mentions that his guitar strap has a weird smell. Lane yells for all of them to shut up, since she's got a friend over who is in desperate need for some girl talk, so that's what she's going to do. She storms off.
Back in Lane's bed, in front of Stee's rug...thing, Rory asks Lane what she thinks of what she's done: "I need some perspective on sex with Dean from you." Lane says that CuteDean and Rory love each other, so there's no problem. "He's married," Rory says, like CuteDean is out of town for the weekend or whatever. "I know," Lane says, looking down to avoid smiling through what's supposed to be a serious problem. Rory asks how she overlooked that fact. She says that CuteDean told her that the marriage was over, and that he was going to tell Lindsay, or maybe even already told her that. She wonders why she didn't ask anything else, and she can't remember what he told her. Lane says she can ask now. Rory says she tried asking, but ended up having sex on an Al Gilbert record. She says she doesn't know what she needs to do. Lane suggests that Rory talk to her mother, since she'll know what to do and at least has a frame of reference about sleeping with married men. (Lane didn't say that, but it's true.) Rory says that talking to her mother is not an option here. The band begins playing, and Lane stomps out into her living room again. What's with the high shutter speed on the camera, guys? Do we need to feel like there's a potential homicide about to happen? Lane yells at the band -- specifically, for mfTL to get away from her drums. MfTL says she was too busy talking about pantyhose or whatever chicks talk about to come to practice. Lane says that nobody is allowed to touch her drums under any circumstances. "He adjusted your seat also," Sebastian Bach tattles. Lane attacks.