Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Diff'rent Pokes
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.25.2001
The firm seems to be celebrating something. Champagne pops, people dance, and there are streamers everywhere. O'Donnell chases Joe, laughing and saying, "You didn't, you did!" Joe says he did. "Ow," O'Donnell says, grabbing his face, "but she's a harpy! God, she's a banshee, and most foul, she's my mother!" Night in the Life of Jimmy Joe Reardon says, "Look, she's an attractive woman, sir, okay, in a Joan Collins sort of way, and there was alcohol involved." He looks rather sick as he says all this. O'Donnell tells him it's unthinkable "on so many levels." Joe tells him, "Look, this is the absolute nadir of our relationship, okay?" and walks to the bathroom. O'Donnell tries to call him back and asks, "Was she good?" That's just -- more beer -- can't even describe -- words fail -- yuck. PlasticMan and Andy Moffat ask O'Donnell if everything's okay. "Gentlemen, men of honor," O'Donnell says, "drink up, it's a good night for us." St. Andy Moffat the Martyr says he thinks champagne is inappropriate. PlasticMan also declines. O'Donnell can't figure out what's wrong with them: "Fine, I'll drink by myself: to two sharks in training [here the obligatory office slut hangs on O'Donnell's arm, grinning at everyone], with the finest Brinner Pharmaceutical's money can buy. You two just made this firm a fortune!" PlasticMan and St. Andy Moffat the Martyr don't exactly enjoy this toast.
Anna snoozes in an office, and PlasticMan tucks her coat around her. But wait, she's not really sleeping! She opens her eyes as PlasticMan walks away. He stops and turns around, only to find her sleeping. He shakes his head and walks out of the office. Anna smiles to herself. Be still my heart.
St. Andy Moffat the Martyr joins a smoking Seth on the balcony. SAMM hands over an envelope and says, "Seth, will you take this please, before I jump on a plane to Rio?" Seth tells him he "did the math," and "if [he] make[s] it to eight months, [he's] got seven thousand dollars and some change to spend every day." SAMM tells him "that's something," and asks if he's thought about what he's going to do. Seth has several ideas: keep traveling, give it all away to charities, throw it all in singles off a tall building. Seth takes the check and looks at it. "This says we won, right?" he asks. "Count the zeros," SAMM says. "And now everyone's going to know what they did to me -- to all of us," Seth says. SAMM tells him it will be in the papers the next day. "That's all I wanted," Seth says. SAMM gives him a list of all the other plaintiffs in the case. "You should call them. You don't have to be alone," SAMM says, turning from martyr to Savior. For the first time in the show, Seth gets choked up as he looks at the numbers. He gets up and walks out. "Take care of yourself?" St. Andy Moffat the Savior says. Seth pauses and puts on his tough-guy voice: "Hey, somebody's got to." I've been wondering something throughout the whole stupid show: where are this guy's family members? St. Andy Moffat the Savior struggles to keep from crying.
The four first-years hang out by the elevator. The Sex Couple are secretively pleased with one another. Anna checks her watch and says, "Wait, it's twelve-fifteen and Perfect Circle's second show is at one o'clock and Miles has his car." "We're in the city," PlasticMan With Car says. "We're dressed," Riley puts in. But just barely, eh -- nudge, nudge, wink, wink? "More importantly, we're awake!" PlasticMan says. They all dash into the elevator, shouting, "Perfect Circle!" before they can change their minds. Andy Moffat is left in the office. PlasticMan sticks his arm in the elevator door to prevent it from closing. "Hey, Warren, you coming?" he asks. Andy Moffat looks around wildly, wondering who on earth he is talking to. "Oh, I'll be home shortly," he says. "No, I meant to Perfect Circle," PlasticMan says. Wait, how do they have tickets? The lady on the radio said all shows were sold out. Andy Moffat stutters, "Really? Yeah, that sounds -- that's be -- great! I'd be happy to drive, I'm on medications so I can't drink." Shaggy looks at him and says, "That sounds just like, uh -- that was you! That was you that drove us home from Tony Reitano's!" "Yeah!" Andy Moffat says, jubilantly. "You yammered the whole way about your allergy medication -- you drive like an old woman, you're not driving for us!" Suddenly the two girls shriek in recognition, "Oh, yes, you are driving for us!" Andy Moffat smiles, not minding the ragging, because that means (gasp) -- that means he's a part of their Perfect Circle!