Episode Report Card Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cornucopia of Crazy
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.14.2004
Annie asks Matt to "consider" coming home for Thanksgiving, which will be really fun since everyone's going to be there. "Mom, wake up," says Matt, and apparently someone on the writing staff loves Barry Watson since he's getting the best lines today. Matt says that not everyone is going to be around for Thanksgiving and it will probably suck. RevCam steps up and tells Annie that Simon won't be there. Neither will Mary, Carlos, and Charles Miguel. Or, possibly Ruthie. Or Martin. Annie reacts with a crazy laugh, followed by a bizarre point and nod. RevCam says that they'll spend the holiday with Lucy, Kevin, and SamVid, and that's enough. At this point, Lucy bursts in, followed by Kevin, and asks why the hell Annie is making Thanksgiving dinner when Lucy wants to do it, and she figured Annie knew she wanted to do it even though Lucy and Annie had no previous communication about this. A silence falls over the kitchen as Annie's eyes moisten. "What's going on?" asks Lucy, perceptive about five minutes too late. Everyone begs Annie to say something, even, most pitifully, the twins, who have to watch their mother's nervous breakdown. "You are not my family," Annie says, like, THE FUCK?!?!?! Unless she was telling Ruthie the truth about her heritage in a particularly cruel manner, there is NO EXCUSE for this. Those twins are FIVE YEARS OLD and their mother just told them that they are not her family. Sam won't have to worry about the lifelong trauma this will induce, since he's deaf, but what of Vid? Poor Vid, who was just beginning to learn how to act.
Everyone's having a pizza dinner, except for Annie, because Greta had her hauled off to jail for the verbal abuse of her children. Mac the Social Retard asks why everyone seems so down. SamVid say they aren't hungry and they want to go to bed. Everyone is too upset to eat, in fact, except for Mac, who's having a great old time. Mac says he doesn't lose his appetite when he's upset -- not that I can see why he would be upset about what just happened -- because his parents are divorced. That's great, but shouldn't Mac be, like, awkward? I've been at friend's houses during huge family fights and the only thing I wanted to do was get the hell out of there as soon as possible.
Hey! It's Georgia! Oh, and Simon. Simon wants to tell their parents something, but Georgia isn't ready to. Simon says he's going to tell his parents, and he thinks they'll be happy for them, eventually. Georgia says that if Simon tells his parents, they're sure to tell her parents, and she can't have that. Simon gets pissed and says that he was ready to do it this weekend and he had his brother fly in from New York for support. And he's sure that his brother is going to tell the CamRents about this eventually. Georgia says Matt "better not say anything" because this is their news to reveal. Simon says he doesn't want to tell his parents on Thanksgiving. Georgia wants to wait until the holidays are over entirely, as in, after Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. The phone rings, and Georgia says she wants to leave. "We'll talk tonight," she says, even though, judging by the light in the apartment (which would be none), it already is night. As Georgia leaves, Simon's machine picks up and RevCam leaves what he claims is his eleventh message, because I guess if your stalking subject lives too far away to go out for ice cream, you just leave message after message on his machine. Simon picks up the phone and asks RevCam what's up. RevCam says he needs Simon to come home for Thanksgiving. Simon says he has to work. RevCam says he has to find a substitute because it's important to Annie. Simon says no. RevCam says he needs Simon and he's counting on him. "Thanks for not putting too much pressure on me," Simon spits disgustedly. RevCam hangs up on him.