Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Beauty Contest
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 05.11.1998
Montage alert! A girl tap-dances. Hannah gives a dramatic reading from (I think) Medea. A girl twirls a baton. A girl ballet-dances. "Special-Needs Kids" Girl tells Mrs. Windjammer that if she could talk to the governor for an hour, she'd tell him how to lose thirty pounds in thirty days. Pacey says, "I'd like to tell my kids that you don't have to be the handsomest guy, you don't have to be the most intelligent guy, you don't even have to be the biggest football stud to be a damn fine Miss Windjammer." Roberta plays the piano. Another girl does a tumbling routine. Pacey tells Mrs. Windjammer, "I would tell the world's leaders that a society that chooses war and death over the preservation of life cannot possibly succeed or thrive. And I guess if that didn't work, I'd just tell them that I had dirty photos of them, you know?" Two girls in the crowd give him a standing ovation. Mrs. Flash scores the contestants and Pacey swoops in to ask her how he's doing. At first she says his name sharply, and then says, "I've got to tell you, you are funny and charming. The audience loves you." "Seriously?" he says happily. She says, "You may not have a snowball's chance in hell of winning, but you're definitely keeping me from falling asleep." I heard that, sister. Pacey is surprised that he's "not even in the running," and she notes, "You know this club would rather see the whole place go down in flames [heh] before they would actually crown a male Miss Windjammer." Pacey says that his being written off is completely unfair. Mrs. Flash points out, "Honey, 'fair' and 'beauty pageants' aren't exactly synonymous." Pacey wanders off, a dark expression on his face.
Jen is telling a distressed Joey that "in approximately two minutes and thirty-five seconds, this will all be over." Joey says that she's never had to sing in front of people before: "What if I suck?" Joey, I love you, honey, but you will suck. Like a Hoover. Jen pushes her onstage with a last reminder to "smile." She walks to the centre of the stage as Mrs. Windjammer announces that she'll be singing "On My Own" from Les Miserables. Dawson joins Jen in the wings, looking proud and astounded, and tells Jen, "You did an incredible job on Joey. My God, it's amazing!" Jen says, "I think we've finally broken into the ranks of being friends." "Hm," says Dawson, who clearly couldn't care less. "But I miss our friendship, too, Dawson," Jen adds. Dawson, whose eyes are locked on Joey and who isn't listening, says, "Me too." Jen goes on, "And not just our friendship, but I guess what I'm trying to say is --"
Joey starts to sing. Okay, for those of you who've never seen Les Miserables or heard the soundtrack, "On My Own" is about the schmaltziest unrequited-love song ever, and for the writers to have Joey (way way flat) sing this is completely shamless. Don't believe me?