Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B+ | 460 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Hook, Line and Sinker
By Cindy McLennan | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2012.10.21
PITT: (He looks down again, and then off to his right, and squints.) Plans disappear. Dreams take over...
RECAPPER: At least I never heard he was a Scientologist. Maybe he's coming out as one?
RECAPPER'S YOUNGER SON: It's just a commercial. Why does it matter?
RECAPPER: Oh honey, it's only thanks to cheese like this that I get to watch shows I like, and pick on them for fun and profit. I wonder if Tubey would pay me to recap commercials on a regular basis. Probably not, as it might turn off our advertisers. Darn the luck.
RECAPPER'S DAUGHTER: Now you're doing it, Mom. Stop.
RECAPPER: (Chagrinned.) Sorry.
PITT: Should I take it once more from the top?
RECAPPER: Why the heck not. (She rewinds, yet again.)
PITT: It's not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. (He looks down, then up, then off to his left.) The world turns and we turn with it. (He looks down again, and then off to his right, and squints.) Plans disappear. Dreams take over. (He returns his gaze to the camera.) But wherever I go, there you are. (Extreme close up of his face.) My luck. My fate. My fortune. (There's a cut, after which we see the camera has zoomed out, a little.) Chanel Number 5.
(Cut to a shot of a giant Chanel No.5 parfum bottle hovering over the world. If that thing gets hit by a meteor, I will never, ever stop sneezing. It's night, but the landscape is dotted with city lights, and there's a bright glow on the horizon.)
PITT VOICE OVER: Inevitable.
RECAPPER'S HUSBAND: Wow. Just wow. I hope he got a lot of money for doing that to himself. But he can't even need any more money, can he?
RECAPPER: Well, he does have a lot of kids. Maybe Angie wants another baby?
RECAPPER'S HUSBAND: I hope Clooney gives him hell for that. Let's watch it again!
RECAPPER: Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is smiling, and she doesn't even know why.
So, yeah, that happened. Where was I? Oh, right. We return to the Storybrooke mines. Grumpy supervises as his fellow dwarfs and Charming hack away at the rock. The dwarfs are all dressed in long sleeved work shirts, but Charming is only wearing a grey tank style undershirt. I'm grateful for both wardrobe choices. And hey, since Thor is still on my mind, I'll confess it took me a few scenes to realize that Josh Dallas plays Fandral (one of the three warriors who fight alongside Sif and Thor). He's much more appealing on Once Upon A Time. Charming turns and winks at Henry, who is probably trying to come to terms with having a grandpa so buff. Red arrives with a basket full of giant muffins. She gives one to Henry and they exposit about the lack of fairy dust and their hopes of retrieving Emma and Snow. Red leaves without giving muffins to any of the guys actually working, and promises to be back at lunch, at which time I suppose she'll give Henry a fresh Maine lobster, dripping with butter, and tell the dwarfs to whistle for meal.