Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT And I Think It's Gonna Be A Long, Long Time
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.25.2006
Sookie can't believe it, though. "I get that you're mad," she says, reassuringly. "Luke's been a real jerk, frankly. Being mad at him makes all the sense in the world." She says that if Lorelai's so mad that she needs to believe, for the time, that they're over, she gets it. Thing is, though, she doesn't get it, so Lorelai has to deliver the bomb: "I spent the night with Christopher last night." Sookie blinks. I rub my hands together hoping for an explosion out of Sookie, because, while I think Lorelai got the big time shaft in this whole Luke/secret kid game, I haaaate that she slept with Christopher. And I hate it for Lorelai, especially -- I appreciate that people make mistakes, and I like it that she at least seems to regret it, but I wish there was some serious retribution in the form of a BFF Smackdown right here. Sookie is sympathetic, though, really just wanting to figure out a way that it's okay and that Lorelai and Luke don't break up. "Things happen," she says, attempting to be pragmatic. "It's not Disney, but it's the real world, and you don't have to tell him. Luke doesn't have to know, and things don't have to be over." Lorelai, however, is not going for it. "I need it to be over," she says. "I can't take this anymore." She likens their relationship to a moving car. Luke's the driver, and she just wants to be in the passenger seat. Instead, she says, even though she loves Luke, he won't let her in. "He's locked the door, and so I have to hold on to the bumper," she says, getting more and more adamant. "Life goes on, and the car goes on, and I get really badly bruised, and I'm hitting potholes and it hurts! It hurts!" So, yesterday, she says, she had to let go of the bumper. "Because it hurts too much," she yells. "It hurts too much!" With real sadness, Sookie says, "Okay."
Okay, sidenote: This Secret commercial they are playing right now...with the two women sitting there all nervous while one of them tries to tell her secret? The secret is that she's in love with her friend, right? Surely, I'm not the only one getting that vibe. It's so sweet, I nearly can't take it.
Luke's at the diner, harassing Cesar, being rude to the customers -- business as usual. He complains that Lane is not yet back from her honeymoon, saying that surely seven days is long enough for two people to sit in a mountain cabin and come to the dreadful realization that they've chained themselves together for life. Nice. The thing is, he's all grumpy, yes, but it's the normal grumpy -- neither he nor Lorelai seem terribly upset by their breakup. Cesar corrects Luke that Lane and Zach are in Mexico, anyway, and that being on the beach with the hot sun, it may take them a little longer to realize how miserable they're supposed to be. "Cesar, are you being funny?" Luke growls. Cesar: "You tell me." Heh. He determines that, uh, it would appear that Luke does not find him, or anything else in the entire world, funny. And things are about to get way less funny, which is unfortunate for us all. While assaulting a complaining customer's wrongly-cooked eggs, Luke notices that Taylor and Kirk are outside, getting up to some kind of traffic-related shenanigans. He barges out to find that, in fact, Taylor is installing a red light camera, which he claims will safeguard the town against scofflaws.