Episode Report Card Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Future Nonsense
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.18.2003
Bridge. T'Pol determines that they are being tailed by the Tholians. "They're extremely xenophobic -- the High Command has had limited contact with them. Captain, it is unusual for the Tholians to travel this far from their system," T'Pol adds. Do you think there's a site out there called "The Tholian Web"? Oh, god, why did I even ask? Malcolm Powder reports "unusual thermal readings" from the Tholian ship's interior. "It's over two hundred degrees," he concludes. Maybe that's why they looked so weird? Because they were actually on fire? Wasn't there some flamey comic books character who dripped bits of fire everywhere -- the live torchiere or something? You know, I never understood why The Thing wore blue diapers. When you think of it, they're kind of like the Tick Underoos. Wow, look how my ramblings come full circle. Oh, and please DO NOT send me tons of emails with fun facts about the Fantastic Four -- I seriously don't care that much. Plus, Mathra has been babbling about them ever since I broached the subject and I'm just about fed up.
T'Pol points out that the Tholians aren't thought to be humanoid. Quantum opens a channel and tries to converse with the Tholians. His yoo-halloo is met with sounds from Sea World as the Tholians click and whistle back at him. In between the humpback songs, understandable English comes through in my ex-landlord's voice. The Tholians tell Quantum that they want the MMP, and inform him the vessel is dangerous to the humans because of "temporal radiation." T'Pol and Quantum exchange concerned looks. Yeah, um, some sort of decon might have been in order before opening the MMP and letting all of Corpus Chris T's nine-hundred-year-old farts out. Quantum refuses to let his toy go, so the Tholians slap a tractor beam on them. Malcolm Powder can't get his torpedo to work properly because of interference, and Quantum makes idle threats to destroy the ship if the Tholians don't release them. Finally, the Tholians let go of Enterprise and chunter off with a parting whale song that Hoshi doesn't think is complimentary. We don't get the human hearing range equivalent, so I choose to believe that they suddenly remembered they left their kettle on. Quantum wonders if there are any other species who might want to lay claim to the MMP.
T'Pol and Phlox break bread together. Phlox salivates over finding another nucleotide sequence in Corpus Chris T's genome that makes him part Rigellian. T'Pol is silent. Phlox salivates over his food. T'Pol is silent. Complete with an anecdote with the Denobulan first contact, Phlox illustrates to T'Pol why he thinks she should accept time travel as a fact. T'Pol makes it clear that she prefers to sleep with the Vulcan Science Directorate under her pillow in case any illogical thoughts go bump in the night. You know, as much as I enjoy every scene with Billingsly, I am vastly fatigued by these recurring scenes with him heavy-handedly prodding T'Pol to stop being so Vulcan and conform to another species' mindset.