Episode Report Card 1 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT The Valentine's Day Massacre
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.01.2000
Jen comes home from her date. Grams remarks that she’s home early, and Jen refers to "the date from hell." Grams calls it "something for you and Henry to laugh about on your second date," and Jen doubts they’ll have a second date, and Grams protests, "Because of just one sour evening?" Jen remarks that "sour" understates the case rather dramatically. Grams says Jen needs to let go of her preconceptions about what dates are supposed to be -- dates are moments, pearls, blah, more blah, a fishcake or two, and I love Grams but I lost her there. Jen cuts Grams off with her customary lack of respect and informs her that Henry has landed in the hospital because he sold his blood to buy Jen a ring, and the ring doesn’t even fit: "Sweet, yes. Adorable, sure. Grammar-school, definitely." Grams comments that Henry isn’t terribly sophisticated, and Jen says that’s what bugs her -- why does he do all those things if it doesn’t come to him naturally? Grams says that perhaps Henry thinks that’s what Jen wants. A small lightbulb goes on over Jen’s head.
The police bust the kegger. As other kids stagger about, making their escape, Pacey -- lying on an angle on a branch, funnel to his lips, in the most genuine portrayal of a high-school beer bust yet on this show -- shouts, "Guys! Yo, guys! What, did I do it wrong? Hello!" From Pacey’s upside-down POV, we see Deputy Doug walk up and shine his light into Pacey’s eyes.
Dissolve from that light into the light in the Capeside clink. The gang lounges around in a cell as Kate asks if they "party like this every weekend," because she hasn’t had this much fun in a long time. "I am so over my ex-boyfriend right now," she finishes, and Jack says he’s glad to hear that, because there’s something he really thinks she needs to know. "You’re annoying," Jack says, "and I want you to shut up. And now, I will take Sars for my bride." Oh, fine, so he doesn’t say that. Andie cuffs him on the shoulder and says, "You are not going to tell her in an enclosed space." Subtle, Andie. But -- heh. Kate says she heard that and asks what she needs to know. Andie cringes as Jack says he knows it’s not the best time, but . . . he turns to Kate, who says she knows "what this is -- you’re not over me, are you, Jack?" Oh, good grief. "No, no, th-that’s not it," Jack mumbles, and continues to bumble along as Kate looks taken aback, and then she perks up in realization and says, "Oh my god. You’re gay, aren’t you?" Jack stares at her. Andie looks at Pacey fearfully; Pacey gives her a "don’t look at me" look. Dawson and Joey just stare at Jack and Kate. Kate half-laughs and says, "But we had --" "Yeah -- yeah, we did," Jack says, so I guess now we know who he slept with. "And you were good," Kate adds, and Andie gets an "ew, TMI" look on her face as I yell at my TV, "Oh, you just HAD to throw THAT little tidbit in, didn’t you!" Jack, without missing a beat: "Thanks, but that doesn’t really have any bearing on our current situation. I’m still gay." Ha! I can’t really do justice to Jack’s tone of voice, but it was pretty funny. Kate asks Dawson if he is also gay. Dawson snorts in the negative; Kate asks if he’s sure, "because apparently only gay guys will kiss me."