Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 90 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT The Future's So Blight, I Gotta Wear Hades
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 20 | Aired on 2007.04.30
Total eclipse of the Heroes!
After the break, we're in a Vegas strip club, which is my second-most favorite place to be in Sin City. My first is the dollar blackjack tables on the old Strip, because that is some of the best damn people-watching EVER. Also? The dealers are all like fifty-year-old Taiwanese women who don't take no shit. It's awesome. The chyron says, again, some more, that it's five years in the future. Really? Soâ¦five years in the future they're playing old Goldfrapp songs in strip clubs? Interesting. Five years in the future must have a lousy music collection. Not that I don't love me some Goldfrapp, but y'all, this song is already like two years old. I mean, even going slightly more retro with Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" would have been better and, I'll have to admit, much funnier. Oh, well. "This is where we're going to find Peter Petrelli?" asks Ando, kind of surprised and, it must be said, pleased, to find them in a swanky strip club. "No," grunts Future Hiro. "This is where we find his girlfriend." Oh, I think we all know where THIS is going.
The boys take a seat and, sure enough, the announcer says that the next stripper is "Jessica" and out comes Jessica, in a bobbed wig and a bustier. She looks damn hot, but a stripper she ain't. She kind of flings her body all over the stage and pretends to enjoy it, but it's pretty clear that poor Ali Larter is like, "You bitches better not get any close-ups of my ass or I am calling my lawyer." "Maybe the future is not so bad!" says Ando enthusiastically. Future Hiro doesn't respond, choosing instead to glower at Jessica's writhing form. He keeps staring at her until she picks up on his creep vibe and makes eye contact with him. After her show, she walks over to them with her long blond hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail and a black silk robe wrapped around her body. This club, by the way, looks a far sight better than that gig Niki had as a stay-at-home stripper. It's fairly classy as strip clubs go. And, judging by the fact that she parks it at their table and demands that they give her $500 just to speak to her, I'd say she's making a killing here.