Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jingle Bell 30 Rock
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 12.10.2009
Tracy: Your generosity is being taken advantage of.
Kenneth: What do you mean?
Tracy: Verdukianism. It's fake! Those dudes made it up because they didn't want to do Secret Santa.
Kenneth: But they had all these rules and rituals?
Tracy: That's what religion is, K-Fed. Just a bunch of made-up rules to manipulate people! Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I'll tell you why! Because the Pope owns Long John Silver's.
Kenneth: Wait a minute. Are you saying that other religions are made up by man, too?
Tracy: Oh, Ken. We may have fallen into the intellectual deep-end here. And if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.
LMAO
Jack: Why did she crop me out of all these pictures?
Cerie: No, it's good. If Nancy didn't care about you, she'd leave you in. But she must feel weird about her husband seeing you there. She feels weird in a good way.
Jack: Weird in a good way? Huh... like going to the gym drunk.
Cerie: She just changed her status from "Working In It" to "Weirdsies."
Jack: OMFG!
Creativity Is One Effing Scary Bird
Lemon [carries a tie box into Jack's office, then sees the tie he's wearing]: Is that maroon and navy? Nerds!
Jack: Don't tell me, Lemon. You spent $500 on a tie I already have at a store with no returns policy.
Lemon: Awwww, shark farts!
Jack: But this is my lucky tie, and anyone who knows me well would know that. [Looks at an increasingly smug Jonathan.] Just like I know you only wear that sweater when you're planning on eating pasta with marinara sauce.
Jonathan: Nice haircut!
Jack: Let's level the playing field. How about the most we can spend on each other's gifts is zero dollars.
Lemon: Really? You want to exchange creative gifts? Oh well, you are the one that's in trouble now, buddy. Because creativity to me is just like a... like a bird... like a friendly bird... that embraces all... ideas... and just like... shoots out of its eyes... all kinds of beauty!
Jack: Wow, Lemon, this is like watching Hemingway write! Mark Hemingway.
Hot Dog Wishes and Cuckolding Dreams
Lemon: What are your expectations here? She's married.
Jack: I don't know, Lemon. Nancy's leaving tomorrow. Can't I just enjoy this while it lasts?
Lemon: That's what I said when that hot dog vendor passed out. But you made me go get help.
What Was, What Is, What Could Be...