Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.30.2008
Back on shore, Crystal and Ken stare at Matty and Ace in the boat, knowing full well what they're talking about. Ken says now is the time to blindside Ace, and Crystal very much agrees. Ken asks Crystal if she trusts him completely. She says she does. Ken says he'll talk to Sugar. As Matty and Ace return back on dry land, Crystal tells us that Ace is the devil and is tricking Matty into doing his bidding, so Ace has to go.
And over at the Kota picnic, Randy is charming the pants off of everyone by saying that the best part of this picnic is that Fang isn't getting it, and they're probably out of rice, too. A man walks up, saying excuse-moi, which the show helpfully translates for us as "excuse me." I never would have known otherwise. He hands the contestants a packet of letters from home, which they are thrilled to receive. Susie's letter is from one of her kids, and from what I can read of it, it looks like the kid doesn't get along very well with her father, and even blames him for failing to keep up the garden. Such drama going on at Susie's house! Meanwhile, Randy appears to be holding some letters, but I cannot, for the life of me, imagine who or what they're from. Randy has no family he speaks to, according to his bio. He has a dog, but dogs can't write letters. Also, that dog is dead, which makes it even less likely to have written him a letter. Then again, we don't actually see him actually reading any letters. Maybe he didn't get any, but is that possible? Could he really be that alone? I mean, even serial killers get visitors in jail.
Meanwhile, Bob did get letters, and he's bawling his eyes out over them. He leaves the group so he can have the spotlight all to himself as he stands and sobs like no man I've ever seen. Or woman, really. Corinne comes over to get some camera time and hugs Bob. "Your family loves you, Bob!" she says, while forgetting to read the section of her mother's letter to her that warned her not to look trashy on national TV by threatening to stab another contestant in the face (spoiler!). Bob just makes some high-pitched unintelligible noises and has to sit down, weakened from all the emotion or possibly blood loss from papercuts from the huge pile of letters he received. Note that Randy's hands are papercut-free. Also, please recall that Bob is a high school physics teacher in Maine, which means that right now there are upwards of fifty Maine teens watching this and laughing their asses off. For the first time in their lives, they are looking forward to physics class tomorrow, where they will ask their teacher about how outside forces can cause a tear to decelerate as it slides down one's cheek. Bob starts reading, and the handwritten letter in nice handwriting is clearly from his wife, who begins her letter with talk of someone named Peggy and her recent phone call. The second paragraph starts with "It is 5:49 pm." Okay, Bob's wife is officially freaking boring. Randy stares at Bob, confused as to how anyone could have feelings for other people. Bob says the usual stuff about how getting these letters made him appreciate and miss his family all the more. "I can't wait to get home to them," he says. Be careful what you wish for, Bob.