Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Das Brute
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.14.2006
Found him! He and his guys are letting themselves into some garage or storage area, and his henchman is saying, "We held one in reserve, just as you ordered." Not that he's all that thrilled about it, even when he opens the top of a canvas-covered crate to reveal a single, familiar black cylinder with the biohazard symbol stamped on the side and duct tape wrapped around one end. And I thought we'd seen the last of the Thermoses of Death. "We can't do much damage with one canister of nerve gas," the henchman laments. "You're so wrong," Bierko says in a tone which I can't believe doesn't make the man commit ritual suicide on the spot. Instead, the henchman scoops up the canister and heads back to the car. Bierko stays behind in order to rip off his face bandage for the camera and show us his fresh stitches. Now he looks like a terrorist. It's 4:09:02.
4:13:24. At Not Camp David, FLOTUS slowly dumps out all of her crazy pills into her hand, then slowly raises the hand to her mouth. And then has second thoughts. There's a darkly amusing moment where a few are stuck to her lips and she has to push them off with her tongue, but she punishes them for their impudence by throwing them across the room, bottle and all. So after you come thisclose to killing yourself, what do you do next? Well, if you're FLOTUS, you notice Aaron's cell phone sitting on a shelf where you left it, and you get up and go to it like it represents some dim beacon of hope. She opens the door to the FLOTUSuite and calls out to the Secret Service agent stationed in the hallway. She explains that she has Aaron's phone, and she'd like the agent to make sure it gets to Aaron in "Washington." The agent readily agrees, but FLOTUS is less ready to relinquish the phone. She holds onto it the first time he tries to take it, but lets it go the second time. The agent nods politely at the crazy lady and strolls off down the corridor.
4:14:52. Wow, if Aaron's in Washington, he had one hell of a shitty flight. His face and shirt are all bloody, like the plane he was on suffered explosive decompression. Also, he's in a chair with his hands tied or cuffed behind him. Furthermore, it's still dark outside, even though it's after 7:00 AM in D.C. In addition, the White House appears to have some kind of equestrian-themed trophy room, which is where Aaron is sitting now. And finally, one of Logan's doubles enters the room. I'm beginning to think that this isn't Washington at all, and that Aaron is being held against his will in the Not Camp David stable, and that's the real President Logan who has just come in. We'll go with that theory instead. "My God," Logan says when he sees Aaron's condition. The hulking agent who was guarding FLOTUS a few episodes ago, Agent Adams, is behind Logan. And he's also clearly behind Aaron's current state. Even Aaron's head-bandage is gone, cruelly ripped from his skull in the process of yanking out his earpiece. Logan sadly comes into the room and sits down across from Aaron. "You think you know what's going on," he says. "I'm here to tell you you don't." "Then why don't you explain it to me, Mr. President?" Aaron grumbles. Logan says that he knows that Aaron has heard about a certain recording. "That recording doesn't exist." Aaron doesn't believe it, so Logan repeats it more clearly: "The recording. Doesn't. Exist." Note the careful use of the present tense only. Logan offers Aaron a choice: he can keep quiet, and take his pick of assignments anywhere he wants (aside from the White House, of course). He doesn't really outline the other choice. He just leans back and asks, "Are my terms acceptable?" Aaron: "There is nothing that you have said or done that is acceptable to me in the least. You are a traitor to this country and a disgrace to your office. And it is my duty to see that you're brought to justice for what you've done. Is there anything else, Charles?" Ooh, that hurts. Pissed but defeated, Logan leaves without another word. Did you know that Glenn Morshower, the actor who plays Aaron, is a motivational speaker in real life? I bet he's really good at it, too. Even if all he does is go up to people on the street and drawl, "Sir, I must urge you in the strongest possible terms to get your act together forthwith." That would totally work on me.