In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Now that the recording has been erased, Logan thinks he's in the clear: Hayes is authorized to release Kiefer, and Aaron is locked up in the stables at Not Camp David. If only Bierko hadn't escaped, and if only his surviving men hadn't held on to one canister of Sentox nerve gas. In order to find Bierko's target and stop him in time, Kiefer sends Henderson undercover with one of the terrorist's contacts. Meanwhile, FLOTUS stumbles upon the scene where Aaron's about to be murdered, and ends up saving his life by shooting his would-be killer. They make a plan for what to do , but they don't make out. Following some ultimately irrelevant confusion and drama with Henderson and Bierko's contact, CTU is able to determine the target: it's a Russian submarine docked at Los Angeles Harbor. Bierko and his men use the gas to fumigate the sub, then board it and log on to its weapons systems. But I think even Bierko's going to have a hard time starting a world war with only two hours left. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Kiefer, Buchanan, and Hayes are striding purposefully through CTU, talking about the impending call with the Attorney General. Hayes tells Kiefer that she hasn't told the AG what the recording's about: "I think he needs to hear it directly from the source." Kiefer doesn't disagree. They walk past Slime, who isn't really doing anything but watching them walk past. And looking evil. And quietly hoping that the little blinking device that the prop department gave him to hold right to the recording worked.
Kiefer and the bosses join Chloe in the Situation Room, and her technobabble about the call setup segues smoothly into some politicobabble from Buchanan, who explains that they're also patching in someone from the House Judiciary Committee and a Congressional liaison. Apparently Buchanan thinks the AG is too much of a wuss to indict a sitting President, and they'll need an emergency session of Congress to remove Logan from office. Gosh, I hope we get to see that this hour. That should be thrilling. When it comes to real time, 24 has nothing on C-SPAN. Hayes tells Chloe to play back the recording so they can check the sound levels. Chloe complies, but all that comes out of the machine is white noise. Kiefer, the only one in the room who's actually heard the recording, is the first to realize that something's wrong. "Dammit, Chloe!" he bitches, "you were responsible for this recording. What the hell happened?" Chloe sputters that whatever was on the memory card has been erased. Right on cue, the speakerphone rings and an operator notifies the room that the Attorney General is on the line. Hayes looks flustered, but Buchanan calmly offers he'll take the call. "I'll tell them we're having technical difficulties," he understates, leaving the room. Kiefer leans on Chloe to tell him who got into the room. Chloe says no one, but then remembers the visit from Slime. "You sent him in here to check up on me while I was setting up," she says to Hayes. Hayes denies doing any such thing, but Kiefer's already stomping out of the room and onto the floor. I begin to suspect that he's going to choke a bitch.
He quickly spots Slime, despite having never met him as far as we know. Maybe the fact that Slime is the only one getting ready to leave is what tips him off. Realizing what Kiefer's got in what passes for his mind at times like this, Hayes scurries after Kiefer, calling in Security. One guard steps up to stop him, and Kiefer easily knocks him unconscious with one blow...to the chest. Wow, the I'm small but don't fuck with me messages are getting more and more obvious, aren't they? In any case, replacements for the felled guard don't exactly line up. So Kiefer's unhindered as he grabs Slime by the throat with one hand and shoves him up against the nearest support column. "Do you know how many people lost their lives so that I could bring that evidence in?" He hisses into Slime's reddening face. Hayes keeps telling Kiefer to release Slime, and he finally does, but in such a way that it looks like he's trying to throw Slime's neck across the room. "Where are you going, Miles?" Hayes asks. Through what's left of his windpipe, Slime says, "I was transferred. I was told to report immediately." Hayes asks where, but Kiefer's already figured it out. "The White House," he spits, and stomps off. Hayes tells Slime, "This is not over. There will be an investigation." Slime is able to gather up the shreds of his dignity and say, "Do what you have to do, Karen. I work for the President now." So Hayes bitch-slaps him. And the shreds go flying again. Hayes: redeemed! Slime picks up his coat and briefcase and heads out. Dude, you dropped a shred.
Back in the Situation Room, Chloe is profusely apologizing to Kiefer and saying she still doesn't know how Slime pulled it off. I don't either. I've never actually seen one of those little digital recording devices in person, let alone a separate device that can wipe one clean from an inch away. And yet Slime just happened to have one on him. I'd be more inclined to believe he did it with an extra-strength refrigerator magnet, but then those rarely blink. Whatever, I'm clearly out of my technical depth here. Again. Hayes comes back in, and Kiefer starts talking about getting Audrey to sign an affidavit swearing to the recording's contents. But Hayes cuts him off and sends Chloe off to Processing to see if there's anything on the recording that can be salvaged. And then the President calls. Well, this could get awkward.
Logan asks Hayes what's up with the conference call with the Attorney General that he just now heard about. Hayes says the call's been canceled, which Logan says he's glad to hear. He says that he's really calling about Kiefer. "What about Jack Bauer?" Hayes asks at 4:06:14, for the benefit of the other person in the room. Logan says that the evidence that led him to order Kiefer's arrest seems to be falling apart, so he's canceling the order. Hayes basically repeats that back, and Kiefer looks intrigued as she protests down the line that Logan's had every government agency, from the Marines to OSHA, looking for Kiefer for the past several hours. Hayes now asks the Prez if she should release Kiefer, and Logan says, "I'll leave that up to your discretion. Thank you, Karen. Good work." And they hang up. Logan's entire manner throughout that call was totally smug: I know you know, and I know that you know I know you know. And do I care? No. As Kiefer points out to Hayes, "He's letting me go because he knows he's won...I'll be on my own. Alone, unprotected. A perfect target." Except he growls it, so as not to sound all whiny. Aside from that, I think it's pretty clear that it would be tough to round up volunteers for a protection detail for Kiefer. Just think of all the things that would happen to any guards or Marshals who dared take on that assignment. They'd end up getting punched, kicked, tasered, stabbed, shot...not to mention the things that could be done to them by people who came after Kiefer. But before this can be explored further, Buchanan comes in with word that Bierko escaped ten minutes ago, during his transfer. For some reason, both Kiefer and Hayes are shocked at this news. I would try to be shocked as well, but that would involve doing something that would pop a circuit breaker and then I'd miss part of the show. An hour after we all predicted this development, Buchanan explains that the convoy moving Bierko was ambushed, and the only surviving agent is currently calling in on line three. Handy, that. Hayes activates the speakerphone.
From a street scene littered with burning cars and armored corpses, the lucky agent reports that before he took a hit in the shoulder and blacked out, he heard Bierko saying to his men that they're "not finished," and mentioned something about a nerve gas canister. After the call's over, Kiefer, Buchanan, and Hayes wonder what this could mean. They realize that they don't actually know how many canisters were at the gas plant, because Kiefer blew the place up too thoroughly to count them afterwards. I'm going back to the tape. There are a bunch of shots where you can't really tell how many there are, but there's one where I can count at least seventeen. Which at that point were all the Bierko had left. Plus I said seventeen in the recap at the time, so you know it must be accurate. In other words, oops. "Damn it," Kiefer says, storming out of the room. Probably to go find a show that doesn't write itself into corners. Hayes rattles off a bunch of instructions to Buchanan. "This is priority one," she says. "We have got to find Vladimir Bierko."
Found him! He and his guys are letting themselves into some garage or storage area, and his henchman is saying, "We held one in reserve, just as you ordered." Not that he's all that thrilled about it, even when he opens the top of a canvas-covered crate to reveal a single, familiar black cylinder with the biohazard symbol stamped on the side and duct tape wrapped around one end. And I thought we'd seen the last of the Thermoses of Death. "We can't do much damage with one canister of nerve gas," the henchman laments. "You're so wrong," Bierko says in a tone which I can't believe doesn't make the man commit ritual suicide on the spot. Instead, the henchman scoops up the canister and heads back to the car. Bierko stays behind in order to rip off his face bandage for the camera and show us his fresh stitches. Now he looks like a terrorist. It's 4:09:02.
4:13:24. At Not Camp David, FLOTUS slowly dumps out all of her crazy pills into her hand, then slowly raises the hand to her mouth. And then has second thoughts. There's a darkly amusing moment where a few are stuck to her lips and she has to push them off with her tongue, but she punishes them for their impudence by throwing them across the room, bottle and all. So after you come thisclose to killing yourself, what do you do ? Well, if you're FLOTUS, you notice Aaron's cell phone sitting on a shelf where you left it, and you get up and go to it like it represents some dim beacon of hope. She opens the door to the FLOTUSuite and calls out to the Secret Service agent stationed in the hallway. She explains that she has Aaron's phone, and she'd like the agent to make sure it gets to Aaron in "Washington." The agent readily agrees, but FLOTUS is less ready to relinquish the phone. She holds onto it the first time he tries to take it, but lets it go the second time. The agent nods politely at the crazy lady and strolls off down the corridor.
4:14:52. Wow, if Aaron's in Washington, he had one hell of a shitty flight. His face and shirt are all bloody, like the plane he was on suffered explosive decompression. Also, he's in a chair with his hands tied or cuffed behind him. Furthermore, it's still dark outside, even though it's after 7:00 AM in D.C. In addition, the White House appears to have some kind of equestrian-themed trophy room, which is where Aaron is sitting now. And finally, one of Logan's doubles enters the room. I'm beginning to think that this isn't Washington at all, and that Aaron is being held against his will in the Not Camp David stable, and that's the real President Logan who has just come in. We'll go with that theory instead. "My God," Logan says when he sees Aaron's condition. The hulking agent who was guarding FLOTUS a few episodes ago, Agent Adams, is behind Logan. And he's also clearly behind Aaron's current state. Even Aaron's head-bandage is gone, cruelly ripped from his skull in the process of yanking out his earpiece. Logan sadly comes into the room and sits down across from Aaron. "You think you know what's going on," he says. "I'm here to tell you you don't." "Then why don't you explain it to me, Mr. President?" Aaron grumbles. Logan says that he knows that Aaron has heard about a certain recording. "That recording doesn't exist." Aaron doesn't believe it, so Logan repeats it more clearly: "The recording. Doesn't. Exist." Note the careful use of the present tense only. Logan offers Aaron a choice: he can keep quiet, and take his pick of assignments anywhere he wants (aside from the White House, of course). He doesn't really outline the other choice. He just leans back and asks, "Are my terms acceptable?" Aaron: "There is nothing that you have said or done that is acceptable to me in the least. You are a traitor to this country and a disgrace to your office. And it is my duty to see that you're brought to justice for what you've done. Is there anything else, Charles?" Ooh, that hurts. Pissed but defeated, Logan leaves without another word. Did you know that Glenn Morshower, the actor who plays Aaron, is a motivational speaker in real life? I bet he's really good at it, too. Even if all he does is go up to people on the street and drawl, "Sir, I must urge you in the strongest possible terms to get your act together forthwith." That would totally work on me.
Out in the hallway, Adams tells Logan that Aaron's loyalties are to David Palmer, and that he's going to be a problem. Logan looks sad for a moment, but the determined glower he turns on Adams is all the instruction that the young agent needs, and he goes back into the room. Alone, Logan pulls out his cell phone to call Graham.
Who has his Bluetooth off at this point, but he still hasn't left the office. Probably waiting for traffic to die down. Graham checks his caller-ID and pops his earpiece back in. "Mr. President," he chirps. "I confess, I didn't expect to hear from you again." His voice is a lot more cheerful than his face. This continues to be the case even after Logan reports that the incriminating recording has been destroyed. "What about the people who already heard it?" Graham wonders, and Logan says it's irrelevant without solid proof. Plus FLOTUS is cooperating, Aaron's being taken care of, and Kiefer's been given his walking papers. "The arrangements that we discussed about taking [Kiefer] out have already been set in motion," Logan promises. Graham admits that Logan seems to have things under control, but he still doesn't look all that happy. And then Logan spots Novick, who's come out to the stables to look for him. Logan hides around a corner to hang up, and then shows himself. Novick relays the latest news: Bierko has escaped. A bit of Logan's old anger/panic comes back as Novick adds that Bierko seems to be planning another attack, although no specifics are available yet. Logan orders constant updates, and Novick heads back to the compound. Constant updates? He's going to get tired of running back and forth between the house and the stables in a hurry, I'm thinking.
At CTU, Chloe's not having any luck finding satellite footage of the attack on Bierko's convoy, and has moved on to trolling traffic camera footage. As Buchanan stands by. Hayes tells her to keep trying so they can ID the attack vehicle. "I know," Chloe bitchfaces, now that the irreplaceable recording that was destroyed under her nose isn't CTU's biggest problem any more. Kiefer joins the little group and reports that what with the curfew and the lateness of the hour, there were no witnesses to the attack. "Then we've got nothing," Buchanan says. After a pause, Hayes points out, "We've got Henderson." Kiefer already doesn't like where this is going. Hayes points out that Henderson gave Bierko the nerve gas in the first place, and might help them find Bierko now. Kiefer reminds them that Henderson isn't the most cooperative fellow they've interrogated. But Buchanan argues that when they tortured him before, he was protecting Logan; Henderson's "patriotism," however misguided, will motivate him to stop Bierko. Kiefer disagrees, so Hayes suggests offering Henderson a deal. "That's not gonna happen," Kiefer snaps, like he runs the place. Kiefer reminds them that Henderson killed an ex-President, and tried to kill the Secretary of Defense. Well, actually, the Secretary of Defense tried to kill himself before Henderson's men could kill him, but point taken. Buchanan says, "It's about doing what has to be done." Ah, magic words to Kiefer. Buchanan presses on: "What would David Palmer want you to do if he were here? The best way to honor his memory is to make the choice to save others." Kiefer pouts for a moment, then admits, "Obviously I can't stop you from doing this." Which is why they're wasting time standing there arguing with him about it. He asks only to be allowed to present the deal. Hayes agrees, for some reason, and Kiefer heads back to Holding.
At 4:21:47, Henderson is sitting and waiting in a regular old chair. He's handcuffed, but I don't see any torture equipment or specialists in the room. Perhaps CTU has finally gotten around to installing it so it drops down from the ceiling. Enter Kiefer. There is staring. Kiefer slowly walks around Henderson and stands right behind him, trying to intimidate him. Which works as well as it always does with Henderson. Or maybe Kiefer just wants to watch the wheels in Henderson's head turning. They turn quickly, and churn out this analysis: "Since you're clearly no longer a fugitive," Henderson says, "I assume they retrieved that recording." I'm interested to see how Kiefer twists Henderson's imperfect knowledge against him. "Someone got to it and erased it," Kiefer says. Okay, so much for that. Circling around to face Henderson, he tells his old mentor that Bierko is on the loose and is planning another attack. Henderson isn't surprised: "You bruised the man's ego when you stopped his first attempt." Kiefer realizes that Henderson knows all about Bierko, having studied him before trying to use him (I'd say he got a C at best in the subject), and asks what kind of thing Bierko has in mind. Henderson wants to know what's in it for Henderson, and Kiefer says Henderson's patriotism should be enough. Henderson smiles thinly as he asks Kiefer if he's supposed to offer Henderson a deal. Kiefer only responds by biting his lip. Now I know why we haven't seen him on Celebrity Poker Showdown. Kiefer admits he's not happy about negotiating with Henderson. "You were responsible for the deaths of people I care about." So Henderson says he's sorry about Palmer (no mention of Michelle or Tony, the latter of whom he personally dispatched) and goes off on a little tangent about the destiny of the country, and the way the world really works, and the politics of survival, and Kiefer finally becomes my hero by boredly snapping, "Do you want immunity or not?" Henderson says that the recording was his immunity, and that when he walks out, he's a dead man, at the hands of "the same people who made Walt Cummings's death look like a suicide. Come on, Jack, you can't really believe that Charles Logan masterminded all this by himself." Kiefer demands the names, but all Henderson gives up is some X-Filesmumbo-jumbo: "You can't touch them, but they can touch you." Bottom line: Henderson will help nab Bierko in exchange for Kiefer's help in disappearing. He says he'll avoid Kiefer's mistake by leaving the country and taking his wife with him. Kiefer doesn't see why Henderson needs his help for that, but Henderson explains that all of his contacts are still in Logan's pocket. "I need somebody I can trust to cover our tracks. I need somebody who'll do a better job of it than those incompetents who failed to cover yours." Rather than pointing out how unwise it is to dis Kiefer's friends who were killed by Henderson that day, Kiefer angrily asks why Henderson thinks Kiefer will let him live. Henderson's a long time viewer (and recap-reader), because he says, "You're going to give me your word. And I know what your word is worth to you. So it's all I need." Kiefer makes a face like, Dammit! He's got me! He says that if he gets "anything less than Bierko's head on a plate," the deal is off. Henderson agrees, and starts talking. It's 4:25:13.
4:29:34. Kiefer comes back out onto the floor and hands Chloe a list of fourteen names, courtesy of Henderson. He tells her to move to the Situation Room and do a phone check on all of them. He then heads into the Situation Room himself and tells Hayes and Buchanan about Henderson's fourteen names. They talk about having Tactical teams ready. There's a little moment where Buchanan asks Hayes if it's okay that he put Curtis in charge of those teams, and Hayes says, "I trust your judgment, Bill," as she gratuitously squeezes his arm. Or should I say, squeezes? Kiefer says that Henderson will be joining them shortly. Then he looks out of the glass wall of the Situation Room and sees Audrey coming out onto the floor, wearing an entirely new outfit. She's holding her wounded arm through the sleeve of her frilly, fugly white blouse. Kiefer heads out to meet her, and we see that although her hair has been wrecked twice today, she only had it in her to fix it once. Kiefer confirms that what she heard about the destruction of the recording is true, and adds that they have a bigger problem. Audrey's also heard about Bierko, which is why she came back out on the floor to help. Well, they're going to need all the speaking parts they can get in the couple of episodes. She happens to look over and see Henderson being led out of Holding, and asks why. "We're using him to help us find Bierko," Kiefer evasives, but quickly admits that "Karen made a deal." Way to own up to it, Kiefer. Audrey's not any happier about this than Kiefer was, but now he takes the "pro" position to explain to Audrey that they need Henderson's help to find Bierko before the attack. Buchanan calls him into the Situation Room, and Kiefer excuses himself with an apology to Audrey. She lets him go. I watch her for signs that she's going to pull a Mrs. Gael, but I think that Henderson's safe for the moment.
In the Situation Room, Chloe has narrowed down Henderson's fourteen names to only one with an active phone: Joseph Malina. From his seat at the conference table, Henderson monotones, "Joseph Malina's an arms dealer. He used to be a military contractor until they accused him of selling secrets. They couldn't prove anything, so he beat all the charges." Kiefer asks if Henderson knows him. Well, duh, Kiefer, Henderson came up with the whole list. It would be kind of suspicious if he'd never heard of Joseph Malina at this point. At 4:31:27, Hayes gives the floor to Chloe, who is able to determine that it looks Malina's cell phone got a short call from a pay phone near the spot where Bierko escaped, which Malina then called back from an untraceable satellite phone. Buchanan and Hayes agree that they have their guy, and are about to send out the Tactical team when Henderson derisively calls a halt. He says even if they bring Malina in, he's not any more likely to roll over than he was when he got arrested during his backstory. "I suggest you send me in to talk to Malina," he concludes. Kiefer shoots down the idea out of hand, but Henderson says the only thing that's going to be less cooperative than Malina is Malina's computer system, which apparently has something called a "Phoenix shield," the mere mention of which sends Chloe into a technobabble of stymied panic. Way to tip the good guys' hand there, Chloe. Henderson is led back to Holding. And once again, the bosses team up on Kiefer about trusting Henderson. Once again, Kiefer thinks it's a sucky idea. Hayes says that's why she's sending Kiefer along to keep Henderson on a tight leash. Kiefer threatens to kill Henderson if he tries anything. "Then don't let it get to that point," Hayes warns. Yeah, that'll happen.
At 4:32:56, the First Lady's out having a smoke when she happens to look across the grounds and spot a black Secret Service sedan heading towards the stables. A Secret Service car at the Presidential Retreat? Surely some nefarious doings are afoot. For lack of anything better to do, FLOTUS starts sneaking in that direction.
Agent Adams backs the car into the stable -- which now appears to be devoid of Presidents -- and pops the trunk, which is totally lined with white plastic sheeting. When he gets out, he's carrying a silenced handgun. Okay, Adams, I applaud your foresight in wanting to protect your trunk lining, but if you're out to gather firewood, a gun is not the best tool you could use.
FLOTUS continues to make her way across the grounds, looking around as if expecting to hear an alarm at any moment. Fortunately for her, the Secret Service doesn't have time to worry about her right now, because it's too busy planning to kill each other.
Adams herds Aaron out of the trophy room at gunpoint and orders him to get in the trunk. Rather than obeying, Aaron warns Adams that Logan is no damn good, he isn't going to get away with it, and if he does, pretty soon it'll be Adams getting into a trunk. And the guy might decide to reuse the plastic. Having heard enough, Adams tries to manhandle Aaron into the trunk. Aaron puts up a fight, but the difference of twenty years, fifty pounds, and handcuffs vs. handgun makes it a pretty uneven struggle. Soon Aaron's on the floor and Adams is standing over him, about to blow him away. When FLOTUS demands, "What are you doing?" Adams's weapon swings around to cover this new "threat," and he tells FLOTUS not to move. "Aaron?" she says to the bloody figure on the ground. Aaron doesn't respond, because he's one beating over his daily quota. FLOTUS quickly goes all Jedi-mind-trick on Adams, walking slowly towards him and asking if he's really going to shoot the First Lady. Adams looks like he only wishes he could. Without lowering his weapon, he pulls out his cell phone to make a call. But Aaron knocks him off balance with a couple of kicks from the ground. Way to stay within reach there, Adams. He lurches against the wall, dropping his gun. Rather than retrieving it, he returns to whack Aaron across the face, putting him down again. Then he reaches into the trunk to grab the tire iron out of the trunk, which he apparently had the foresight to keep outside the plastic lining. He raises it high, preparing to cave in Aaron's skull. But before he can bring it down, FLOTUS brings Adams down with a shot to the chest from his own gun. And now she and Aaron are even. She stands there in shock for a moment, until Aaron raises his head and says, "Martha?" A little free with the first names this hour, aren't we, Agent Pierce? Finally FLOTUS drops the gun and rushes to Aaron's side. She cries, possibly because he's too bloody to make out with. It's 4:35:53.
4:40:14. In one of the splitscreen windows, FLOTUS looks like she's trying to find a way to make that happen anyway. Meanwhile, two CTUmobiles are driving through the abandoned streets. The passengers of one of them include Curtis, Kiefer, and Henderson. You know that's been a long ride. Curtis breaks the awkward silence by saying they're getting close to Malina's apartment. They all park, and everyone gets out. Kiefer tells Curtis to set up a perimeter, then warns Henderson that he's got ten minutes with Malina before he comes in with thumbscrews blazing. Although not in so many words. He wants to set up Henderson with a wire, but Henderson puts the kibosh on that, saying Malina's got scanners that will detect any listening devices instantly. Kiefer just stares at Henderson like he wants to hit him so hard. Just make his eyes rattle with one good sock to the...stomach. Henderson says it's fine that they don't trust each other, "But neither one of us can afford to blow this operation." Curtis returns to say the perimeter is already set up, which explains a lot about the success rate of CTU perimeters. Grumpily, Kiefer lets Henderson have his way, warning him not to try anything. "I don't need another reason to put a bullet in your head," he exaggerates. With an order to Curtis to have CTU monitor channel eight, Kiefer leads Henderson towards Malina's building.
At 4:41:52, Kiefer sends Henderson around the corner to Malina's door buzzer, which Henderson rings. Malina, played by the guy who plays Detective Cavaliere on CSI, comes down the stairs of his fabulous and ginormous loft to answer, fully dressed at almost five in the morning. "Who is it?" he asks, and Henderson shows his face to the security camera that's wired directly into one of Malina's monitors. Malina's suspicious at seeing "Chris," but Henderson drops Bierko's name and tells the speaker grille, "You're gonna want to hear what I have to say." Reluctantly, Malina buzzes Henderson in.
Meanwhile, Kiefer's climbing up to the roof, being careful to stay out of range of the security cameras. Henderson walks down a hallway to yet another security door, where Malina buzzes him in again. The security door is basically a pane of frosted glass in a narrow wooden frame, and we'll be seeing just how secure that really is in a couple of minutes. Henderson's now in a second hallway, as Sean Callery furiously conducts the orchestra in a desperate attempt to keep me from humming the Get Smart theme. Henderson submits to some kind of laser scan, the results of which tell Malina he's clean, aside from his jacket zipper and belt buckle. Knowing Henderson, I think it's foolhardy of Malina to admit him with even that minimal amount of hardware. But he buzzes Henderson through a third door anyway. Meanwhile, Kiefer has reached the roof, and takes up position to a skylight.
At 4:43:56, Henderson is walking around and admiring in the kind of digs that selling national security secrets can buy these days. Malina pops out behind him, gun drawn, asking what couldn't wait. By now, Kiefer is attaching some kind of suction-cup listening device to the skylight. He's just in time to hear Henderson asking Malina, "Is there another way out of here?" As Curtis and Kiefer act all nervous over their comm link, Henderson tells Malina to save whatever computer files he needs. Without lowering his gun, Malina asks why, and Henderson snaps, "Because there is an entire phalanx of CTU agents outside, including an ex-agent named Jack Bauer." "He's selling us out, Jack," Curtis narrates over the earpiece. Thanks, Commander Obvious. You couldn't have commented on the use of the word "phalanx?" That's not a word you hear every day. Unless you're my wife, of course. Henderson tells Malina that Kiefer's cut a deal with him, but plans to kill him the first chance he gets. Alarmed at hearing Henderson telling the truth, and thus feeling like the earth and the sky are swapping places, Kiefer gives the order to move in. Curtis relays it to his men. Inside, Malina is pissed at Henderson for leading the good guys to his place. Henderson yells back, "He was coming here anyway! So secure the files, crash the system, stop wasting time, and do it!" I love how the only time Henderson ever raises his voice is when someone is being distrustful of him. After a brief hesitation, Malina goes over to his huge workstation -- basically a one-man LAN party waiting to happen -- and gets to work.
Outside, Curtis and his armored teams are getting ready to come through the door, and Kiefer's working on getting his skylight open. Malina's front door lock is defeated by some kind of incendiary strip that Curtis doesn't even have to stand clear of, and Kiefer's able to open a skylight with his pocketknife. Clearly Malina's fetish for security isn't so effective in meatspace. Kiefer starts climbing in through the attic. Meanwhile, at ground level, the first security door is compromised by a single bullet, followed by an agent running through the spidered glass. Hearing the shot and the crash, Henderson asks for Malina's weapon, and gets it. Malina grabs a machine pistol of his own from under the desk, and the two men take up position to try to hold off the cavalry. Kiefer's the first one in sight, coming down the stairs. Malina takes a few shots at him, but then the rest of the CTU guys are in the apartment. Malina manages to graze Curtis's arm with a bullet before Kiefer is able to take the suspect down. Henderson's nowhere in sight, and I doubt he's fired a shot. Kiefer comes down the stairs, roaring, "Christopher! Let me see your hands, now!" From behind the kitchen counter, only Henderson's hands pop up, the one holding the gun (which is pointed at the ceiling) appearing first. Kiefer secures Henderson and asks Curtis if everyone's okay. Curtis says he's the only one hit, but he's fine. That's quite an owie-face he's sporting, though. Oh well. It's not a complete 24 season until Curtis gets winged. Kiefer orders Curtis sent back to CTU, and asks after Malina. That gentleman's been shot in the hip. In a voice that suggests he thinks everyone's still shooting, Kiefer tells the medic to stabilize Malina and keep him alive. "I had him, Jack," Henderson says. "Thirty more seconds was all I needed." Kiefer still doesn't get it, so Henderson angrily spells it out: "I got him to lift the firewall. He was about to dump all of his files onto a flash drive before you jumped the gun and busted in here!" Kiefer slowly lowers his gun, the better to see his oh, shit face. Henderson says that now they have to waste time trying to decrypt the files on a mainframe, "So you'd better pray there's something on there that you can read." Kiefer swallows hard, or maybe he just prays with his Adam's apple. And then he remembers that even though Henderson is probably right, he's still the chump who's in custody. "Cuff him," Kiefer says, and while an agent is doing that, Kiefer earpieces that he's sending Chloe some files from Malina's computer. He also requests a CTU chopper sent to Malina's place, so they can get to Bierko's target as soon as they know what it is. Which, at the rate Chloe's working, shouldn't be long. Satisfied that Chloe has everything, Kiefer leads everyone out. Well, except Malina and the medic, of course, who I guess can take a cab. It's 4:47:54.
4:52:23. At the Not Camp David stables, FLOTUS has managed to drag Aaron away from the car and Agent Adams's body, and they're sitting up against a wall in an empty stall. I wish this scene were bad enough for me to make a horseshit joke, but it's not quite there. Carefully cleaning Aaron's bloody face with a cloth (and a shitty job she's doing of it too, given that seventeen minutes later he still looks like he fell off his bike), FLOTUS asks if her husband ordered Agent Adams to kill Aaron. "Yes, ma'am," Aaron says gently. FLOTUS gets all weepy again as Aaron adds, "I'm sorry to tell you the President was involved with much worse things than that." FLOTUS says she already knows. "I was going to let him get away with it." Aaron doesn't look too mad at her, probably because he's digging the attention. She says they need to make a plan. So he offers to get Adams's body in the trunk. However, he can't drive the car out, since Logan needs to believe he's dead. FLOTUS offers to be the wheel man, but Aaron tells her to get back before Logan suspects anything. He tells her to find Novick, and "tell him everything. Tell him to meet me here." FLOTUS agrees, and as she gives him the gory cloth and clasps his hand, she makes Aaron promise that he'll leave Not Camp David if he finds himself in danger. She gets up and leaves at 4:54:25. No kiss. Aaron's left there wondering how he's going to lift a body twice his size, when he couldn't even wipe his own face.
In Malina's parking lot, Kiefer hands Henderson off to an agent, saying, "Secure him by the tailgate." He's going to drag Henderson back to CTU? Not a bad idea, actually. He calls CTU, where Chloe has just gotten into Malina's files. She tells Kiefer, "It's a Russian submarine, Jack." Apparently, the Natalya, a Delta-IV-class sub, is being inspected by the U.S. Navy. Kiefer asks why that is, and Hayes explains that it's because of the treaty that Logan and Suvarov signed that day. "There's a provision that calls for the sharing of technology." And right the hell now, apparently. Chloe tells Kiefer that the sub is currently docked in a military shipyard at the Port of Los Angeles, and Buchanan heads out to send Tactical teams in that direction. I guess he's not bothering to call port security, because we'll soon see that they all went home or something. Kiefer tells CTU to hold on and turns to Henderson to ask what kind of armament package a Delta-IV sub carries. Off the top of his head, Henderson happens to know that such a craft is armed with twelve Scorpion missiles. They're not nuclear, but they carry multiple warheads and each one could flatten several city blocks. Sounds like Bierko's speed. Kiefer hears the CTU helicopter approaching, and orders Henderson uncuffed. Over the phone, Kiefer tells Hayes to put him in touch with the ranking U.S. officer on board the Natalya so he can tell him to lock out the ship's weapons systems. How reassuring to know that they haven't already done that. Hayes says she'll have Audrey take care of it and get back to Kiefer. Kiefer leads Henderson over to the helicopter. "The deal was Bierko's head on a plate," he reminds Henderson. But is this really the best time to go plate-shopping? Actually, Kiefer says Henderson is coming along because he knows the weapons systems. They climb into the helicopter, and they're airborne at 4:56:26.
Audrey calls Kiefer's cell phone, and she conferences in the ranking American officer on the Natalya, a Lieutenant Southern. Kiefer tells the Lieutenant to lock down the sub, and tells him what's going on. After relaying the orders to the American and Russian officers in the room, Southern asks Kiefer for more specifics, and is told that the terrorists are after the sub's weapons. Southern scoffs, saying that unauthorized civilians would never be able to just walk into a military shipyard on an ordinary day, let alone at five in the morning during a citywide curfew. Okay, actually he doesn't. In fact, he seems a little worried. "I'm going to check right now," Southern says, and hangs up the phone. Uh, bye! On his way to the hatch, Southern takes a pistol out of the small arms locker. Upon reaching the hatch, he looks up and sees nothing. He picks up an extension, which is still apparently connected to Audrey and Kiefer (whew!), to say that he's checking up top. Tucking the pistol in the back of his waistband, he heads up the ladder. And no sooner does he stick his head out than Bierko, standing on the hull with a couple of his guys, blows two holes in it. I wonder how many platoons of soldiers they had to fight through to get this far? Never mind; we'll never find out, so the answer might as well be zero. Kiefer quickly figures out things have gone from bad to worse, and tells Audrey to call the Department of Defense. "Captain, we need to move," he tells the pilot.
Back at the sub, Bierko and his guys don full-face gas masks. For some reason, this fails to open the fresh stitches on Bierko's face, or even appear to bother him. His henchman hands him the beeping and blinking Sentox canister, which Bierko drops down the hatch into the sub. Careful, it might break! Two of his men close the hatch and lock it down, as the canister opens up to Southern's body and starts releasing gas.
Splitscreen! Kiefer asks his pilot how much further, and is told five minutes. At Not Camp David, FLOTUS finds Novick, but he's in talking to Logan, so she can't get to him right now. Russian and American submariners start succumbing to the gas, which seems to work faster every time. And Aaron wraps the body of Agent Adams in the plastic trunk liner that was meant for him. Looks like our prediction about Adams came true faster than anyone could have suspected.
Satisfied that the Sentox has already done its work, Bierko's men open the sub's hatch again. Aside from a suspiciously small number of corpses, the masked terrorists have the boat to themselves as they make their way to the control room at 4:59:02. Bierko finds a computer terminal and orders, "Read me the code we got from Malina." I could have figured that out, dudesky. The henchman obliges, Bierko types in a series of Cyrillic characters, and they're in, just like that. Bierko asks his walkie-talkie if the sub's missiles are loaded yet. At the other end of the radio connection, more of Bierko's guys are loading the torpedo tubes. And not with flowers and candy, either. It's 5:00:00. Don't forget -- the finale's , it's a two-fer, and it starts an hour early. I'd hate for you to miss episode 23 and have to rely on me.