Episode Report Card Potes: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pretty Pretenders, Negligent Vendors
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 10.07.2012
And then we are treated to a few moments of Joe Giudice getting his makeup done, threatening to pick a big booger out of his nose and flick it, and drinking a Red Bull much to Andy Cohen's terror and chagrin. That is some classic Juicy for you, right there.
So, Juicy on the couch. Andy notes that he doesn't look all that thrilled to be there, and asks him what he thinks of the Teresa phenomenon. Juicy says that Teresa is a great mother, a great wife, a great everything, and he's proud of her. He doesn't watch Real Housewives, but did watch Celebrity Apprentice. So did Caroline, I'm sure just to talk about how much of a dumb-ass Teresa was. I mean, I did that too. Oh, and then we get a montage of Teresa and Juicy's marriage troubles. Yeep. The worst of the worst, of course, was when Juicy took that suspicious call in Napa and referred to Teresa as some rather unsavory names. Oh, and then apparently Teresa and Juicy renewed their vows? I must have missed that important world news.
Andy gets right to the Napa call, and asks Joe who he was talking to. A few moments go by before Joe says, "Albie," which raises a lot of eyebrows. But it turns out it's not THAT Albie -- it's a guy Juicy has known for a long time who was taking care of things back home. You can guess exactly how many people on stage are buying that one. Andy asks point blank if he was talking to a girlfriend, and Joe says that if it was a girlfriend, he would have ripped his mic off and thrown it in the bushes. He goes on to say that he shouldn't have said the nasty things about Teresa, adding, "That word isn't even in my vocabulary." Okay, now that's taking it way past the limits of believability. Teresa says that she was hurt upon seeing the footage for the first time, but adds that the C-word is one that Joe never says to her. This prompts a glance between Caroline and Jacqueline. Juicy says that there was no excuse for saying it, and he regrets it, and Teresa adds that she's not going to divorce her husband for calling her a cunt. Melissa pipes in to say that the groaning was what seemed most suspicious, which Teresa does not appreciate. Andy asks Joe why he had to pretend to speak another language if he was talking to a co-worker, and Joe says that Albie put his Spanish pizza guy on the phone. I thought the pizza was done? Even Andy can't believe what is happening right now.
Andy asks Jacqueline for her opinion on this whole thing, and she says that the name calling was familiar to her. Teresa claims that Juicy has never before called her a cunt -- after all, that word isn't even in his vocabulary! Just like a whole lot of words! Jacqueline rolls her eyes and says she's not going to go there. Joe tells us that he and Teresa don't fight longer than an hour or two, and then they're over it. This one, though, took about three days. He adds that the C-word cost him a lot of money, because he had to go to the jewelry store many times. With Teresa's cookbook profits? For just a moment, there is a flicker across Andy Cohen's face and I have to wonder if he's facing the full magnitude of what he hath wrought. A viewer wants to know how Joe feels about Teresa bringing home the bacon, and he claims to pay the bills. Teresa says that her money is her money, and Joe's money is her money, and he lets her spend it however she wants. It's a great financial planning strategy, as evidenced by the fact that their ramshackle mansion is empty and they have all inflatable furniture.