Episode Report Card Potes: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pretty Pretenders, Negligent Vendors
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 10.07.2012
Oh God, and then if you thought things couldn't get worse, it's time for a montage about Melissa's perfect life and burgeoning recording career. Death, destruction. Melissa promotes her new song, "I Just Wanna," and accompanying video. A viewer asks Teresa if she thinks Melissa can sing without Auto-Tune, and Teresa notes that she appears to lip sync quite a bit. Melissa then sings a verse of her song right there and, I am loath to admit, is marginally not terrible. I mean, she's not good either, but she can carry like half of a tune. Teresa first wants to hear Melissa sing a whole song, and then proceeds to say that she can sing too and bust into the chorus of "On Display." Caroline cannot believe the shitshow, but is clearly rather enjoying it. Andy asks Melissa how she felt when Teresa's kids criticized her singing, and Melissa says that it hurts because she loves them. Teresa says that she reprimanded them afterwards, but Caroline and Jacqueline mumble that she was laughing in the scene.
Things somehow get to the point where Jacqueline pretends to sleep and Teresa offers to cook chicken cutlets in front of everyone. Melissa then says that they all know that Teresa's mother cooks the meal and then she tweets the picture. And then things get back to Melissa lip syncing, and Melissa explains that she actually sings to a track when performing live, which is not the same thing as lip syncing. Well, marginally. I don't think anyone is claiming that Melissa is the next Maria Callas, though. While yet more yelling happens, Caroline mumbles to Jacqueline that Teresa always has to push down the success of others. And, ugh. I am going to take a moment here to reflect upon how happy I am that this show is ending next week, and also to ask for some reader advice on a not-unrelated topic. What do you do when you have a cat -- let's call this cat "Caroline" -- who is bullying another cat -- whom we shall call "Teresa." "Teresa" has gotten to the point where when she enters a room she just slinks under a chair or table and tries to stay perfectly still while never relaxing. "Caroline," meanwhile, darts at "Teresa" and attacks her at any given opportunity. She also weighs exactly double what "Teresa" weighs, so could potentially do damage in a physical altercation. Right now they're mostly separated, which is wearing on all parties quite a bit. They have been living together for one month, which is like four Housewives seasons in feline years. Their sister-in-law "Dina" is a whole other matter, though a less pressing issue overall. If anyone has peacemaking advice, please email me at potesypotes@gmail.com! The Pawsche fashion show is coming up in mere weeks, and I want everything to go as smoothly as possible.