Episode Report Card Deborah: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Joan of Ark
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.16.2003
Joan (wearing a Dr. Who-esque scarf), Grace, and Adam are walking through the halls at school. Grace is decrying the "fascist hierarchy" inherent in the assignment of homework. Adam: "Dude: she wants to pass." Grace: "Do you think it's funny to call me 'dude'?" As Joan notices something on the floor and bends to pick it up, she tells Grace that Adam calls everyone that. Grace: "Well, stop. It's totally pre-millennial." Joan's found a wallet, and it kind of looks like it has some sort of emblem on it, but it's too dark or I'm too blind to make it out. Adam: "Wait...what's the new 'dude'?" Grace advises him, "Trying saying 'yo' at the end of a sentence." Joan opens the wallet and finds a bunch of bills, much to her surprise. Adam glances at it: "We're stinkin' rich, yo." Grace looks at Joan, disgusted: "You're gonna turn it in, aren't you? A willing pawn of the power elites." Grace, if you only knew the authority she's answering to. Joan makes a comment about having the feeling of being watched, and walks off. Grace reminds Adam that Joan's right: "We are under surveillance 80 percent of the time." Adam seems like he's about to make a skeptical remark, then looks around in a sort of paranoid way. These three are fun together. I really hope they keep Grace and Adam around. Joan could use some real friends.
Joan walks down the hall after a guy in uniform and asks if it's his wallet. He says it is, and that it's nice to find someone so honest, and that a reward is in order. Joan assures him: "Oh no...I support the troops." He hands her a bunch of bills and Joan refuses, saying it's way too much. Military Guy states, "That's exactly the right amount for what I'm about to ask you to do." They exchange looks as Joan figures out who it is, and he confirms it with his expression. She folds up the money and says, "God joined the Army." Military God: "Navy. It's thematic." She looks puzzled as he tells her he wants her to build a boat. Joan gripes about the all the make-work projects: "All these annoying, bogus assignments, instead of doing something really big, like, you know, saving the world." Military God: "Last time I asked someone to build a boat, it turned out to be something really big, like, you know, saving the world." Joan bitches that she's got a really hard AP Chem test coming up, and she doesn't even have a boyfriend: "Why couldn't you ask me to get a boyfriend?" Psst, Joan! Adam. I'm just saying. God just kind of waves away her concerns and walks off up the stairs as Joan rants, "'Build a boat,' he says. Okay, um...how big? Exxon Valdez? Should I plan for a lot of rain? I don't know how to build a boat!" He disappears around a corner as Joan fumes: "Unbe-liev-able!" and stomps off.
A bunch of guys are playing basketball in a gym; one half of the court is taken up by able-bodied players; the other half is taken up by players in wheelchairs. Will and Kevin come in, and Will asks Kevin, "What do you think?" Kevin: "I used to call it basketball. Now I call it blackmail." Will says that Kevin wants him to buy him a new transmission, and he wants Kevin to gets some exercise: "This isn't blackmail. It's an accommodation between two reasonable men." Will calls out to some guy named "Bear," who calls a timeout to come over and talk to him. Will says quietly to Kevin, "Barry works in the property room. Great guy." Kevin replies, "Yeah, we're bound to hit it off, because, hey, we're both crippled." Will tells him not to "be this way," and asks him to give it a chance. Bear comes over and shakes their hands. Bear says of Kevin, "He's got next." Is that sports talk? I don't know what that means. That sounds like "They am happily" or "We went lamp" to me. ["That didn't make much sense to me, either, since basketball is played in teams, but…I don't know. Until Will drags Kevin to wheelchair softball league I'm not going to be much help." -- Sars] Bear says that people call him "The Bear." Kevin says, with the perfect blend of politeness and sarcasm, "People call me Kevin." Will starts to explain how Kevin got into a wheelchair, but The Bear interrupts and says, "Only thing I gotta know about you right off, you want to play down low or up top?" Kevin's puzzled, and wonders if it makes a difference: "We're all the same height." The Bear explains: "Oh, it's not about height, kid. Not anymore." One of the other players bugs The Bear to get back to the game. Will says, "I gotta back to work, slugger. Mom'll pick you up. Have a good time out there! Show them how the Girardi men do it." Will leaves, and the player calls The Bear again. Kevin stays put, saying, "Go ahead, man, finish the run." Kevin watches for a moment, but his attention is quickly taken away by the able-bodied players running around on the other half of the court. Kevin suddenly gets up out of his chair, runs over to the game, and starts playing, sinking a basket in slow motion. The Bear calls to him, pulling him out of his daydream. Kevin suddenly decides he's not ready to play on that half of the court and wheels out quickly without a word.