Episode Report Card Gwen: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tying up all the loose and stupid ends
By Gwen | Season 5 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.20.2001
Back at Cheryl’s apartment, the phone rings, and Matt presumptuously answers it. It’s Carol, calling for Cheryl. I wonder if they have friends named Beryl and Meryl. Cheryl takes the phone and tells Carol she’ll talk to her later. There’s a pause, and then she says, “Oh, he’s just a neighbor.” She hangs up, and Matt wants to know why she lied. We find out that Cheryl hasn’t told any of her friends she’s dating Matt. Who can blame her? If she did tell them, she’d have to lie and say that he’s putting out. She’s ashamed. A lie by omission is better than an unnecessary revelation that exposes your shame, as far as I’m concerned.
Lucy goes to the pool hall and describes Jeremy to the bartender. “Maybe you should ask your sister,” he tells her. She runs back to the little basketball-game thingies and spies on Jeremy and Mary for a while before running off in a huff. I think Mary should have invited Serena to join them so that Annie and Lucy could play Mother/Daughter I Spy.
Simon runs into the kitchen so that his parents can ask him how Deena is and he can say, “How’s Deena? How’s Deena? I’ll tell you how Deena is! She’s selfish and mean and thoughtless, self-centered, inconsiderate and insensitive! She’s just fine.” He recites these lines poorly, without the flamboyant melodrama they deserve, and then exits. RevCam starts to go after him, but Annie advises patience and proceeds to the next plotline. She’d really like to know what RevCam was doing at Serena’s all day. Then she wants to tell him about “something really strange” that happened to her. One of the twins cries out against the neglect of his needs. Annie rushes offstage so that James can knock on the door and say “I need to talk to you” to RevCam. James wants to see about purchasing RevCam’s little woman, probably.
At the airport, John hands the CamPhoneNumber to Priscilla’s parents. They all hug goodbye, and the temporarily sad couple boards their plane. Priscilla’s parents remark on the unfortunate postponement of her marriage to John. They remind us that John’s family is back east. “I think there’s something we can do,” says Priscilla’s mom, smiling and tipping us off to the fact that an unrealistic surprise wedding will take place later in the hour.
James and RevCam, both in all black, stand at opposite ends of the living room like gunslingers. “I did something stupid tonight. I kissed a woman. It’s Annie! I kissed Annie! I love Annie,” says James. Yeah, that is pretty stupid. What’s even stupider is what RevCam says in response. “Annie who? My Annie? Why did you kiss my Annie?” Ha! “Why did you kiss my Annie” -- there are so many ways in which that line can be abused. James begs RevCam, “Help me not to be in love with your wife.” The piece of property in question comes down The Stairs Of The Dropping Of Eaves, but a knock at the door keeps her from expending more than a quizzical look on the dilemma. She opens the door and finds Evil Sex-Wanting Single Woman Serena there. “I need to talk to you,” the Whore side says to the Madonna side of RevCam’s Madonna-whore Complex.
Back at the pool hall, Jeremy’s telling Mary, “I can’t believe you ate the whole thing.” Oh, wait -- my bad. He says, “I can’t believe you made up the whole thing.” He can’t believe it? Wasn’t he there that night when he wasn’t having sex with Mary? Jeremy says he’ll explain everything to Lucy himself. “I think I’ll go ball her right now,” he says. Oh, shoot…I mean, “I think I’ll go call her right now.” Sorry. All the talk about adult relations last week got me worked up into such a frenzy that my ears produced extra wax and I can’t understand what anyone’s saying.