Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT O Brother, Where Art Thou?
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 01.21.2007
Graham goes to answer his front door at 10:53:54, and isn't all that pleased to see Kiefer standing on his front step. I'm sure that's exactly what Kiefer was expecting. Maybe with all the money that's clearly been poured into this giant house, Graham could have invested in, I don't know, a peephole. Graham swallows his initial oh, shit reaction at seeing his brother and invites him in, throwing a hug around him that goes totally unreturned. This is still fucking with my head. Trying to keep the mood jovial, Graham asks Kiefer when they last saw each other. "When Teri died," Kiefer buzzkills. Actually it was at Bride's funeral a few days later, because Graham was still on ER then. Kiefer asks if he's found their dad yet, and Graham says that he's still working on it. Just then Graham's son Josh comes down the stairs, and Graham introduces them. Kiefer drops in all sorts of long pauses so we are sure to know that the kid is Kiefer's biological offspring. Just what we need: a male Spawn. He even has the vapid eyes of the original. He's quite a bit younger, though, which would mean that Kiefer did Graham's wife when he was married to Teri. That dog. Kiefer extends his gnarled meathook and asks Josh how he's doing. Josh takes the corpse-yellow hand with an uncertain look but doesnât comment on it, saying it's been a weird day. Yeah, tell Kiefer all about it, kid. Just then Marilyn appears on the upper balcony, telling Josh to leave the men alone. Josh wanders off, saying maybe they can talk later, like no teenager ever does, just so Kiefer can respond, "I would like that." Marilyn turns her cold gaze on Kiefer, and into the silence that's stretching out, Kiefer apologizes for the intrusion and says he'll leave as soon as he learns what he needs to about his father. Marilyn just nods and disappears again. "Well, that was pleasant, wasn't it?" Graham snarks, and invites Kiefer into his home office.
This turns out to be a well-appointed room that's about as big as my garage but much better organized. Graham invites Kiefer to sit, but Kiefer declines and gets right to the point. He drops Gredenko's name and asks if Graham knows him. Graham pretends to think before saying no and launching into a story about some of dad's drinking buddies of late. He's all set to go into a tale about pre-Chavez Venezuela, when Kiefer rudely cuts him off: "Gray! I didn't come here to listen to your stories." He says that they need to find dad ASAP. Graham's like, dude, chill. You're home. Enjoy it. So Kiefer does, by socking his brother in the face and dropping him unconscious to the rug. Nice, hitting a man wearing glasses. You know, maybe Buchanan should have told Kiefer that CTU has at least sixteen other names that are of as much interest in this investigation as Philip's. Kiefer locks the office door and, at 10:56:43, yanks the cord out of a table lamp with one hand. Nice lamp, Graham, you cheap bastard. Kiefer positions a straight-backed chair in the middle of the room and lifts Graham onto it, lashing him in place with the lamp cord. Graham's coming around, too late to resist. Kiefer grabs Graham's throat and hisses at him, "If you raise your voice, I will rip your tongue out, are we clear?" Graham nods, grunting in pain. Kiefer starts his standard pre-torture spiel. "I need some information. Are you going to give it to me, or do I have to start hurting you?" "Actually, you're hurting me now," Graham manages. "Trust me, I'm not," Kiefer threatens. Ooooh. He releases Graham's throat. Can you imagine these two growing up together? I wonder if this happened every time Graham hid the cookies.