Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B- | 3 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Her Name Is Luka...
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.08.2004
Cut to a large timer sitting on a desk. Jeez, thanks for reminding me that I'm on a deadline here. The teacher -- a sweater-vest-clad Mr. X from The X-Files -- looks sternly at the class, the students of which are trying to take a test. It's a valiant effort, considering that the timer is loud enough to put The Tell-Tale Heart to shame. Either the Foley guys are getting paid too much, or they're not getting paid enough. Weevil and Logan regard each other suspiciously. Logan, thinking Weevil's trying to cheat off him, asks him if he was taught manners in ESL. Oh, Logan, that makes me think of ESL Travis, and that's just low. What did I ever do to you? Well, I have called you an asshole multiple times, but few would argue that that was undeserved. And I did speculate as to some latent homosexuality going on with you too, on which the jury's still out. Don't count on any sequestering, though. Weevil: "If I was gonna cheat, don't you think I'd pick somebody smart?" Logan: "If you 'was gonna'?" The back-and-forth is mesmerizing. It's almost...rhythmic. Mr. X, however, believes that back-and-forth is defined as being between a man and a woman, so he breaks up the little party, informing Logan and Weevil that they both get zeroes. Most of the forum posters give them tens, but again, different strokes. As Mr. X walks away, Logan "mutters" that Mr. X's wife is perhaps not fulfilling certain marital duties. Weevil looks amused. Mr. X does not, and Logan insults him again, at which Weevil can't suppress a chuckle. Mr. X suggests that Weevil won't find Logan so amusing ten years from now, "when [Weevil's] pumping his gas." Mr. X ripped that joke off from Bring It On, unlike some other teachers who are not long for this show. And I almost restrained myself from making a "that's not all he'll be pumping" joke, but, much like Homer Simpson, the guy dressed in white who used to talk into my ear is long dead, and the guy in red is dancing on his grave shaking some maracas. I am Evil Couch Baron. Mr. X tells Weevil and Logan to see him after class so that he can tell them where to go for detention...
...which is our next stop, where Logan's playing solitaire, while Weevil muses that he got a zero even though Logan talked to him first, and he got detention even though he only laughed, while Logan was the one who said that Mrs. X had completely misinterpreted the "Just Say No" ad campaign. Weevil: "How do you people not make yourself [sic] sick?" Well, I think a lot of the girls do, if you catch my drift. Weevil goes on that the 09ers walk on water at school for no good reason. Logan: "If I donate to the United Latino Pain In The Ass Fund, will you shut the hell up?" Please keep talking, Weevil. J.Lo doesn't need any more money. Weevil: "You like playing with yourself, or you want to make things interesting?" Oh, my. Logan: "What did you have in mind?" Interested, interested, VERY interested...