Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT What is it with chicks, man?
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.26.2006
"Are you sure?" he asks slowly, still not looking at her, and Audrey completely fails to read the room as she sticks to her story. Which is when Kiefer turns and drops a folder on the table in front of her. "Open it," he says. With shaky fingers, Audrey does so, and she knows she's busted. She tries to play it off, like she and Walt just happened to run into each other at the hotel. But Kiefer gets in her face and forces her to confess that their genitals also ran into each other. Okay, I just grossed myself out. "I was still recovering from losing you, Jack," Audrey says, adding that Walt had just separated from his wife. Nice of the writers to remember that he had one of those there at the last second. Kiefer asks why she broke it off, and she reluctantly says, "Because he wasn't you." No, despite all of Walt's faults, I can't see him locking Audrey in a small room and refusing to let her leave until she answered a bunch of nosy-ass questions to his satisfaction. Kiefer stares at her impassively while she looks back all, "What, nothing from that? Huh? Jeez, tough room." But she ain't seen nothing yet, because now is when Kiefer asks a much tougher question: "Why did you lie to me?" She says she didn't want him to think less of her for sleeping with someone who turned out to be a traitor. Kiefer then backs off a bit and asks if she spent any more time with Cummings that didn't involve...you know. Coming. I just grossed myself out again. He peppers her with questions, but she doesn't have anything to add to what she's already told him. So then he pulls his big trademark theatrical move of hurling the table aside so he can get right at his subject. You know, those tables look quite a bit heavier than Kiefer is, so I wonder if they're springloaded somehow. I hope so, because that means it's only a matter of time before some lucky suspect finds the secret release catch, triggering this scene:
Kiefer: I am running out of time here. Now you are going to tell me what I need to know, and you're going t--
*klik*
SPROING!
CRASH!
[Suspect escapes]
Kiefer [crying]: Medic!
But that's a scene for another episode, because in this one, Kiefer hauls Audrey out of her chair by the throat and presses her against the wall, screaming at her to tell him the truth. She starts to protest again, but this time he's in a position to cut off her words simply by squeezing. What a gentleman. They are totally never going to get back together after this ugly scene. "Do what you have to do," she whispers with what little air he's leaving her. Damn, do her knees not work or something? He's leaving his groin completely open. But he finally seems to decide they've both had enough, and he lets her go. "This is over, do you understand?" he bellows at the surveillance camera.