Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT 99 Problems, But a Book Ain't One
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.12.2009
Jenna: Are you as turned on as I am right now? [Tracy nods head furiously.]
Jack: Lemon has a decision to make. She can either be crushed by me...
Jenna [orgasmic]: Ah!
Jack: ...or she can suck in her stomach and crawl back through the tiny crack I've left for her in the proverbial door. Do you think you can pass that along?
Jenna [orgasmic]: Uh-huh...
A Couple of Pills
Jenna: Scotty Showfar... I know that name. What does he look like?
Tracy: I don't know. All white people look the same to me, Pete.
Jenna: Oh my god, Scotty Showfar was my assistant on Trivial Pursuit: The Movie. I was horrible to him. And now he's actually successful? What if I got called in to audition for him, and he recognized me -- even with all the changes to my face... that have happened naturally.
Tracy: That's what Danny said! We have to be nice to everybody. Because the future is like a Japanese game show. You have no idea what's going on.
Kenneth [approaching]: Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. Should I start taking them to test their side effects?
Silence of the Kenneth Knows Best
Kenneth: Mr. Baker, we need to talk.
Danny: Now's not a great time, Kenneth. I don't need anything.
Kenneth [ominously]: Sir, this time I need something from you. You've poisoned Mr. Jordan's and Miss Maroney's minds. You've got to tell them to go back to the way it was -- to let me help everyone again... including you.
Danny: Kenneth, I don't --
Kenneth [increasingly ominously]: Yes! You do. 'Cause you're scared and frustrated.
Danny: Of course I am. Because I'm going on TV tomorrow, and I don't know what I'm doing!
Kenneth [even more ominously]: Yesssss! Embrace your anger!
Danny: What?! You know, of all the weirdoes I've met around here, you're the worst! With your creepy Don Knotts face... that ridiculous Hitler Youth hair cut!
Kenneth [yet more ominously]: Exxxxxcellent. What about my chin?
Danny: What about your chin, Kenneth? I've seen bigger chins on a premature baby!
Kenneth [back to normal]: Mr. Baker, you've just made me feel terrible and said the word "about" correctly. Congratulations! You're an actor!
Danny: About?
Kenneth: About!
Danny: Oh my god! Thank you, Kenneth!
Tracy: That was aboot the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Kenneth: How long have you been there?