Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Emily's Reasons Why Not
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.02.2012
GREENHOUSE @ 10PM
Emily goes to that awesome greenhouse, where it turns out the Liars were all pretending to hate her and this is a brilliant plan to make the Weakest Link seem like the Weakest Link. Not only is that awesome -- and well played, show -- but the huge loving grins on everybody's face when they meet up is very satisfying, emotionally. Whew.
Essentially, Dr. Sullivan's pretend murder and very real disappearance -- which the girls seem to have written off, like, "Guess she died, how sad" -- has convinced them that trusting anybody is a bad idea, because A will kill them. Something she's been telling them for a season and a half, they have now deduced. And the ones that don't get disappeared turn out to be creeps that bone blind girls. So they are all on their own, with the stakes even higher to protect their parents and boyfriends. Except Hanna, apparently, who has more parents and more boyfriends than anybody else on the show, but on the other hand they are all even sketchier than the Liars themselves.
Aria: "And everyone that's watching is going to believe that Emily totally went rogue and that she wants the box that Jason gave me. The one with the evidence that doesn't really exist."
Who Is Actually Going To Think That: Nobody. Maybe A, but certainly not "everyone that's watching," because nobody knows what the fuck any of you are ever talking about.
MARIN
Back home, Lucas is trying to hook Hanna on comic books, a thing boys have been trying to do to girls forever and ever, but who is standing in her kitchen but Cyberwolf Caleb. Lucas stares at them as they kiss their hellos, and feels a feeling he cannot name. Perhaps it is one we don't have words for.
SWIM MEET
Toby: "Talking shit about Officer Garrett makes it seem like I'm jealous he's dating the sister that used to rape me."
Emily: "I'm just here to watch one of the fifty swim meets that happen at this school each and every day of the year."
Toby: "Hey, can I ask you something? Why is Spencer being such a bitch to you? And more importantly, me?"
Emily: "Stop caring immediately."
Toby: "No, this is just my face. I swear."
HOLLIS
Aria takes the book back to Ezra's office, with a stupid love note inside, and then rethinks the love note. But it's too late! Jackie Morales appears out of nowhere, and so begins the dance of death. They go back over all the stuff about how they keep blackmailing each other for the sweet sweet candy that is Ezra's many positive traits, and then Ezra walks in and nearly dies from a nice-guy heart attack about girls fighting over him. Jackie disappears, again in an instant. To where? From whence? She is so evil.