Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Art Imitating Life
By Couch Baron | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.20.2006
Dick's just about to bite into a burger in the food court when he notices that Veronica is standing behind him. She over-projects the news about Sex Quest, and asks whether it's such a great idea with a serial rapist on the loose. Geez, Veronica, I know this point is important to you, but this isn't the stage version. Tone down the volume. Dick says that she shouldn't worry about his points, since he hooked up with some girl named Bonnie, and "her curvature of the spine is hardly noticeable. But, I still got the handicapped bonus." Given the level of intelligence you show the world, Dick, I'm betting she did too. Also, Dick is wearing an argyle sweater, and I have only so much combative energy in me, so I'm going to concede this particular fight. Dress like assholes all you want, kids. Veronica asks if perhaps the attack on Chip might have been in warning or retribution for the Sex Quest. Dick, sincerely: "Actually, that kind of makes sense." Hee. Dick says that he shouldn't tell Veronica this, but in addition to the head-shaving, someone put a Roman numeral in a plastic Easter egg and shoved it in Chip's "where the sun don't shine place." Veronica: "Worst. Easter egg hunt. Ever." They're positively handing me a chocolate joke with this whole scenario, but I'm going to choose to escape into the commercial break.
When we return, Dick is concluding by telling Veronica that Chip had to get one of the brothers to "help him unpack his suitcase." Well, on the plus side, if that brother ever meets Bobby Brown at a cocktail party, he'll know they have a shared experience to discuss. Veronica asks what the number in the egg was. Dick: "It wasn't a baby shower. We didn't all sit around waiting for him to open the egg so we could see what he got." Veronica determines that Chip probably threw the egg out, so she asks when the frat house's garbage is collected. Dick notes that she's the one that thinks he's "repungent." Veronica: "Yes, Dick. Yes I do." Hee. Dick says that the garbage truck comes Friday morning, and that "Morty the homeless dude" visits Thursday to collect the recyclables. Given how much I'm guessing the frat guys drink, rents must be awfully expensive in this town at the moment. Dick says he's not sure if they recycle "keister eggs." Hee.
Veronica catches Fern again and tells her about the lack of a record of an incoming call. Fern suggests that maybe the call came from another extension in the building. Veronica thinks for a minute, and her response of "Oh!" is hilarious. Less so is her ill-advised joke about "Poor Chip. You really wrecked'im." I think the worst I would have said is that he got a bum deal. Anything deeper would be uncomfortable.