Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wedding Bell Blues
By Al Lowe | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.07.2005
Now, clearly, he was talking about how he didn't realize how great it would be to kiss Rory, but I am telling myself he's really saying he didn't realize all that he had been missing by never kissing a guy.
Commercials. Have y'all seen this thing about this new show The Starlet? Y'all, that's Faye Dunaway. What the frig? Oscar-winning Faye Dunaway, I'll remind you. The end of the world is nigh.
Meanwhile, back at the wedding, Richard and Emily are smooching it up to the sound of clinking glasses. Lorelai brings Luke another beer and realizes that in her absence he's been Totsied. They gag as Christopher walks up and joins in the fun. He uses the Totsie to spin out a few old yarns about him and Lorelai and all their childhood baby-making antics. He's drunk. Lorelai tries to brush him off by claiming to not know what he's talking about, and it just goes downhill from there. As an escape plan, she asks Luke to dance, but Christopher warns that she'll get "second-hand Totsied." That's pretty funny, but why didn't they think of "Totsie-by-proxy"? Show me the money, Hollywood.
Luke sits rigid while Christopher gets his digs in, mentioning unnecessarily that he and Lorelai had lunch at the inn last month. Blessedly, Cousin Marilyn comes over, announcing that Emily wants a picture in front of the cake with the wedding party, and helpfully points out that she saw Rory going off with that "darling blond boy. I'll forgive her for not noticing that I was chatting with him earlier!" Hee, Mrs. C. Lorelai says she'll go find Rory, and just to get away, Luke tags along. Because he's evil, Christopher follows.
Lorelai walks in on Rory and Logan, mid-snag, with their shirts untucked and hair fully mussed, takes a beat, and says, "Grandma wants a picture." Rory: "Of THIS?" Ha! Lorelai gets her motherin' in gear and does a full-on frustrated eye-roll and even let's out a "What are you doing?! God, Rory, I SWEAR!" Christopher hears his daughter's name and busts in, menacingly. Lorelai drags him out while he yells about the "guy in there, pawing my daughter." Of course, Luke can't stay out of it, because he actually does care about Rory, and he rushes in to do the same.
Lorelai sends the kids out the back way, introducing herself to Logan, while the inevitable showdown breaks out between Luke and Chris over who cares more about Rory. Chris: "Rory is my daughter and Lorelai's daughter. That's it!" Luke: "Well, I'm with Lorelai." Chris: "For now."