Episode Report Card Daniel: C | 6 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Oh, thou shalt NOT kill. Right. Got it.
By Daniel | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2006.1.001
Back on Craphole Island, Eko comes to, clutching his stomach as he struggles to his feet. In the background, the black smoke whisks through the trees. Eko finds himself a walking stick, having lost the Bible Thumper, and resumes his journey.
Only from out of nowhere, some guy whips a machete at Eko's head, and it thwacks into the tree beside him. And there's another thug, and another -- only they're all already injured. One's even missing an arm. Eko figures he can probably kick a ghost's ass as well as a corporeal one and yanks the machete from the tree. He's about to bring it down on one thug with a bloody head wound when Daniel the altar boy is standing there in full, um⦠man, I forget what they call the robe altar boys wear. My main memory of being an altar boy is being the cross-bearer for the first time for a Thanksgiving service, and totally motoring with it up the side and then down the aisle toward the altar, leaving everyone else far behind. And then I stood there at the altar forever waiting for everyone to catch up. Daniel puts a finger to his lips. "Shhh. Confess." A frightened Eko drops the machete -- or maybe it was never actually there! And then Daniel's gone too, as are the bloody ghosts from Eko's past. Is anyone else tired of the island hallucinations of the Ghosts of Plotlines Past?
Now we get this preposterous scene where Locke wanders among the denizens of Lostaway Beach, explaining what exactly it is they're setting out to do and extending an invitation for anyone who wants to come along. Hurley acts all surprised by this. "If you'd like to join us, it's a free island," says Locke. Hurley, who I think has gone on his fair share of adventures and was even bitched out by Arzt about being in the adventurer's clique, says Jack would usually do things on his own or take Sayid or Kate. "Yeah, well, I'm not Jack," says Locke, who I seem to recall keeping the hatch a secret, conking Sayid on the head to prevent him from figuring out where Rousseau's transmission was coming from, and lying to everyone about what happened to Boone to keep the plane a secret, so whatever, John "Open Book" Locke. Anyway, Locke shoulders his pack and says, "The more the merrier," and then there are noted screentime hogs Nikki and Paulo, preparing food or something, and Nikki is all chirpy, "I'm in!" surprising Paulo, and Nikki reminds him that he's always whining about not being included, so here's his chance! Paulo follows.