Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Guardian Angel
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.10.2004
The Patchmobile arrives at the exchange point. Kiefer and Soul Patch bail out of the car and approach Special Agent Charlie Brown, while Spawnders sits in the truck and wonders whether the Emmy Awards have a category for taxidermy. An agent hands Kiefer a phone; it's Spawn, with the news that Bitchelle's on the line saying she got away from Saunders. Kiefer contains his excitement as he has Spawn transfer the call to him. He plugs the phone into one of those ubiquitous speaker cradles. It's 10:44:35. Bitchelle's no longer in a dead zone, so Soul Patch, Kiefer, and Special Agent Charlie Brown can clearly hear her tell them she's gotten away but is still being pursued. She's out in the building's courtyard now, as Soul Patch gets her location and orders Special Agent Charlie Brown to send in the strike team. Hot damn! But Kiefer belays that order and tells Bitchelle to get herself caught again. Oh, man. I want to play chess with Kiefer some time. If he captures my queen, he'll just give it back to me. Soul Patch tries to put up a fight, but Kiefer instantly has him flat on his back on the ground, pointing his gun at him, lest anyone forget exactly who is whose bitch around here. At least Kiefer didn't break Soul Patch's ankle this time. Kiefer orders Soul Patch taken away, which I can't help thinking is going to make the exchange with Saunders a little awkward, then goes back to Bitchelle, who has to have heard all this going on via the speakerphone.
By now, she's made her way to a gate separating the building's yard from the street, and she sadly watches the cars go by her as Kiefer explains that they need her to stay captured so Saunders will show up for the exchange. And then he just hangs up. This is so irritating. Kiefer's allowing Saunders to hold on to leverage that he wouldn't otherwise have, and he's doing it so he can gamble with Bitchelle's life in an operation in which any number of things outside of Kiefer's control could go wrong. I just don't see him doing that. However, it does further establish Bitchelle as a courageous individual (not to mention one hell of a team player) when she ditches the phone and the gun she took off Poor Man's Will Sasso and reluctantly jogs back toward the building she just escaped. She pops into Saunders's line of sight at the end of a breezeway, and does a fair job of not looking like she meant to get caught. It's 10:46:17.
10:50:30. Palmer attempts astral projection, Brother Palmer lurks in a parking garage, and Soul Patch seethes. Given the kind of thing that tends to happen in parking garages on this show, I'm happy to see Brother Palmer in one; we may have a satisfying resolution to this storyline yet. But no, he just walks up to a parked car that an unsavory-looking fellow gets out of. He certainly got there fast. Does he just follow Brother Palmer around, waiting for him to make stupid decisions? And if so, when does he sleep? This would be Foxton. I hope that Fox appreciates its unique position as the only network that has characters on its shows named after it. Foxton comments to Brother Palmer that he thought Palmer would never lower himself to his level. I guess Foxton and Kreepy Karl from Season One must have been in different chapters of the Extralegal Political Operatives Union. Brother Palmer, his tie now askew, lets that pass without comment, and tells Foxton about the medicine bottle and how they need it back before the season finale. Foxton asks if Palmer knows about this little project, and Brother Palmer tries to dodge the question, saying Foxton will get paid. Foxton's not worried about that; he just wants to be prepared to take over the position as Official Presidential Blackmailer Laureate, and needs a little time to brush up on the relevant Constitutional law. Well, he doesn't say that, but he might as well. Brother Palmer doesn't pick up on it, and he's already dialing Palmer on his cell phone when Foxton stops him and says, "That's proof enough." He grabs a black bag from his backseat and follows Brother Palmer out of frame. Wait, the White House Chief of Staff is going on a black bag job? If there are so few people working for Palmer that this kind of dirty work falls to his Chief of Staff, how many positions does Lady Mac think she's going to have to choose from?
10:52:22. The Sixth Street Bridge glitters in the sunlight, if that is in fact what it is. Soul Patch is in position next to the Patchmobile, so it looks like he came around regarding the current plan. Armored CTU agents are invisible, as Special Agent Charlie Brown promised, as long as nobody looks too closely at all those piles of tires. Through his invisible communicator, Soul Patch begs Kiefer not to move until Bitchelle is safe. Kiefer tells him they'll have to as soon as they spot Saunders. Soul Patch reiterates his concern, and Kiefer absentmindedly reassures him. Special Agent Charlie Brown reports in with the news that three SUVs are approaching. Kiefer watches them draw near on his handheld flat screen monitor, and confirms that Soul Patch is ready. It's 10:53:18. Three Chevy Suburbans drive up slowly, because General Motors models are the SUVs of Evil. Special Agent Charlie Brown can't see through their tinted windows. Kiefer's going to feel pretty stupid if Saunders didn't even show up for this exercise. ["And if Adam can locate the Patchmobile in, like, seven seconds, wouldn't CTU have some Whatever Goggles that allow them to see through window-tinting?" -- Sars]