Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A- | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Might As Well Jump
By Cindy McLennan | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.30.2012
Enchanted Forest. Aurora, who found one of their horses, catches up with Mulan, who is taking a page out of Kate Austen's book, and tracking Phillip. Suddenly, I'm shipping her with Charming, or possibly Whale. Yes, that's it! I've decoded Whale's other identity. He's Lost's Sawyer! Mulan really doesn't want Aurora's company. Since Phillip left to protect Aurora, Mulan is going to honor his wishes. She blathers about how everything he does, he does for Aurora and adds, "Now he's going to die for you. Love is sacrifice, something you clearly don't understand." Meow. Aurora refuses to let her beloved face the wraith alone. Mulan assures her he won't. "But with all due respect, Your Highness, Phillip's best chance is me." It's then that dawn breaks over Aurora's (ouch) head. "You love him.... Phillip. You love him, too." Mulan lies that she doesn't. It's just that they fought side by side for so long. Aurora knows the truth, though. When they hear the Chintz Monster's soul sigh, Aurora says, "Phillip!" We cut to...
Mayor's Office. I think -- are they in the courtroom, or something? Well, whatever. Snow uses booze to make a flame barrier along a rail. As Charming keeps Chintzy at bay with his torch, Regina struggles to make the hat work, but it's not going so well. We cut to...
Enchanted Forest. Phillip yells to the still invisible wraith, "Come on, you bastard." Mulan and Aurora arrive before Chintzy, though. He explains he's been marked and tells his girlfriends to go. "There's no other way." Mulan asks for the talisman. She'll mark herself so that Phillip can live. I'm not all up on Chintz Monster mythology, but wouldn't that plan just ensure Chintzy a second breakfast? I mean the thing needs to get the taste of Regina's soul out of its mouth. It doesn't matter. Phillip chooses to save them both. Aurora doesn't want to live without her prince, but he feels the same. Finally, Chintzy arrives. Phillip turns his head and says, over his shoulder, "I love you." The camera pans from Aurora to Mulan, because there's nothing so compelling as a love triangle between characters we neither yet know or care about. Yawn. Anyhoodle, Phillip casts down his torch and the fairly patient wraith finally gets about to sucking -- soul sucking, that is. We've already covered the other ways in which it sucks. Aurora screams, "No!" Mulan screams, "Phillip." Then Aurora screams, "Phillip," several times. Eventually he falls to the ground. Mulan and Aurora kneel beside him. Thank goodness it's time to return to...