Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Low Blows
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.22.2009
Upstairs, Jack, Toofer, and Frank watch as the engineer tries to execute a microwave with their insane requirements. The machine quickly morphs into an electronics disaster with four small doors and wheels. Because that's what you want -- a rolling microwaves. Make sure to put it right next to the sink or, Hell, the bathtub!
Iceland, Jenna prepares for her one minute of darkness. The sun sets dramatically, and she gets distracted by a continuity issue. Before she can get her line out, the sun returns. She smiles and shouts, "Great day, everyone! You guys are the real stars." The student director throws down his hat.
Lemon returns home to find Tracy's million rescue animals sitting and panting happily in her apartment. Tracy smiles evilly. "Bum, bum, bummmmmm." Cut to Jack's office. He resolves their conflict by giving Lemon a dose of her own medicine. He promises Tracy the rights to Lemon's life. Tracy says he plans to do something humiliating with them and exits. Jack assures Lemon (with a colorful anecdote) that sometimes the only way out is down.
And down she goes. Downstairs at least... She finds Jenna has returned from Iceland due to a permanent hiatus on the movie. Lemon starts to hash out their conflict, but Jenna cuts her off, saying she has to go on. She claims she has mercury poisoning -- "from obsessively taking my rectal temperature." Now that's something I would have actually believed from the lips of Piven.
Upstairs, Jack and his mad scientist microwave design team are still at it. Now there are cup holders and the suggestion of replacing the microwave oven entirely with an AM/FM radio. They click for the final product, and Jack realizes they've just reinvented the Pontiac Aztec.
Downstairs, Lemon has another angry encounter with someone negatively affected by her book. This time, it's a custodian, who dumps trash all over her floor. She starts to pick it up and finds a bill amongst the refuse. She storms into Tracy's dressing room to ask if he ordered pay-per-view at her apartment -- six movies in two days, specifically, including The Curious Case of Benjamin Butt and Ima Do Us (a pun on Amadeus). She refuses to pay for his high-brow porn parodies. He refuses to be judged by her. He throws out a sentence that has words that I, a certifiable word nerd, don't even recognize. Essentially, she's in charge of paying for his booty movies until she fixes things. And the source of all those words I can't comprehend? He also used her credit card to buy a vocabulary course. Lemon confirms that, if she rights things, he'll take his dogs and leave. Seeing this as her opportunity to "climb down into the darkness," she tells Tracy she knows what he can do with her life rights.