Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Day Out Of Days
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.14.2003
Over at the Help! I Need Somebody! Help! Not Just Anybody! Teen Help Line, Jen sits at a desk and talks about unprotected sex. To a caller, I mean. She impresses upon said caller that it's very important for someone who's had "unprotected sex with seventeen women over the last three months" to get tested. "For you, and for the health of all the hot women you've been sleeping with," she finishes, shooting TGED a dirty look over her shoulder. TGED snickers and hangs up the phone. "What?" he asks. "I've nailed many a hot girl in my day." Jen grins, and Blandy, perched on her desk, nods. "I believe you," Blandy monotones. TGED huffs that he can't believe they're criticizing his acting when he's just trying to help. Jen announces that TGED could never be straight. "Your heart is too big and so is your brain," she says. TGED snorts, amused. "She's hostile!" he tells Blandy. Um, yeah. She is. In sort of an unattractive way. Blandy didn't like you, Jen. Either get over it or wallow in it away from him. But don't go get a job working at his pet project and spend the entire time punishing him for having sex with someone other than you. Jen admits that she has some anger, but that she's just "expressing [her] emotions." Enter Jack to fetch TGED, who asks Blandy and Jen if they can get along without his help for a while. Jack raises his brows and asks Jen in a humorous baby voice if she's monopolizing TGED's time simply because she can't manage to get along with Blandy. Jen whines that Jack ought to be able to loan her his boyfriend for one measly hour. At the infamous B-word, Jack and TGED exchange a look. "Is he your boyfriend? Have you guys kissed yet? Did I miss all of this over Christmas vacation?" Jen asks, as TGED and Jack look all uncomfortable. "Charming," Jack drawls. Okay, but wait. That's a good question. Because going and getting tested for everything with someone before you've even kissed him is…maybe putting the cart before the horse. Not like I'm anti-sexual health or anything, but…dude. Mack freely, fictional characters! It just seems to me that The We Should Be Tested For STDs Conversation realistically generally happens after the kissing has started but before the sex has begun. However, they don't really answer the question, so maybe they've been making out all along. Let's just decide that they have been, okay? ["And that those scenes got cut because Kerr Smith refused to shoot them." -- Sars] Blandy gives Jen a dirty look. "Why are you looking at me?" she asks. "Hostile," he mutters, and then walks off. Jen sighs. Well, she is!
Hollywood. The studio executives, led by Whitney, ask Dawson to direct the reshoots. That's all I can say about that scene without having an aneurysm. The director's assistant -- the guy who gets coffee -- is directing the reshoots. Not that director's assistants all over the world aren't delightful people, but there's no studio executive in the world who would let one of them direct reshoots. Ever. And if I think about this for one more moment, my head finally will actually explode, as it has so often threatened.