Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT And she said, "Kiefer, it's 3 AM and I'm feelin' lonely."
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.26.2001
At 3:36:09, the Purple Van is inching closer to the near-lifeless body of Princess Roadkill. Rick thinks she's dead. EFB2 needs to be "sure." He pulls out a gun, rolls down the window, and drives toward her while Spawn protests fitfully through the duct tape. Just as the Van gets close enough to PMMS for a good shot, an ambulance can be heard approaching. The Purple Van keeps driving, and EFB2 bashes the steering wheel in frustration. The time is 03:37:30 AM.
The time is 03:40:05 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer draws his gun, Bride looks bummed, Evil Frat Boy drives some more, and more CTU agents are kwestioned. One of Mason's minions questions Soul Patch in an empty office while Nina is excused from further interrogation. A split screen reveals both Nina and Jalapeno Spice looking scared. Nina gets a bright idea, which turns out not to be about giving Xander Berkeley a hummer. She walks up to Jalapeno and warns her that Mason is trying to plant seeds of doubt in everyone's mind, and tells her not to spill the beans. Jalapeno reminds Nina that Mason outranks Kiefer. Nina tells Jalapeno that their orders come from Walsh, who outranks Mason.
Hey, I didn't realize that Industria Superstudios, the set for many a Vogue and Bazaar photo shoot, was a hotbed of terrorist activity. But then I've always wondered why Steven Meisel never takes off that big hat. As Kiefer and OMG continue to chase their suspect, they hear his footsteps going toward the building next door. "This place is like a maze!" says OMG of the dust-free hallway adorned with skylights.
At 3:41:59, Palmer gets a call from Carl The Heavy. CTH has found the source of the story -- a name Palmer recognizes. Palmer gets off the phone and walks into the sitting room, where Mrs. Huxtable is working on a needlepoint sampler that says, "Love is killing your sister's rapist!" No wait, I'm just kidding! It's an iBook she's holding on her lap. "You've been spending a lot of time behind closed doors," says Mrs. Huxtable. Palmer finally tells Mrs. Huxtable about the murder of Nicole's rapist and how there's evidence that suggests that Keith did it. (Strangely, my closed captioning spells his name "Kief.") Apparently, the source of the story is a man named George Ferragamo, who is Keith's therapist and not an Italian shoe designer. "This man is lying," says Mrs. Huxtable. "We've got to get our lawyers on this right away!" Palmer expresses confusion. He has always trusted Maureen the reporter, and refers to her as "one of the few professionals left." "You can't seriously think that our son could be a killer!" gasps Mrs. Huxtable.
We return now to a special episode of COPS, where, for the first time on the perennial Fox show, some shirt-wearing white folk are being arrested. Mr. York argues some more with the officer, who explains to him that he's committed a serious crime. BoK pleads for a "break." A radio dispatcher confirms that York and BoK called 911 approximately thirty minutes ago and are therefore telling the truth about looking for their missing daughters. "Idiots!" says Mr. York in a stage whisper. I repeat, Mr. York -- this is the LAPD. You are lucky you aren't on the business end of that nightstick. They drive off.