Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cruel And Unusual Punishments
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 08.17.1999
Keller catches up to Sister Pete in the hallway, excited about a visit from his ex-wife. Sister Pete asks whether it's Kitty or Angelique, but Keller says that it's Bonnie, whom he married twice. Keller points her out in the visitors' room. Sister Pete sees a redhead, but Keller says that it's the other woman. The camera swerves over to a fat chick (which I can say, being one myself). Sister Pete is at a loss for words, and asks if Bonnie gained weight after the divorce. Keller says that Bonnie was that size both times that he married her. Keller walks in and starts making out with Bonnie, grabbing her gigantic ass.
Keller meets with Sister Pete, who is going through Keller's history. He was at Lardner Prison with Schillinger when he was seventeen. Schillinger saved his life, and they had sex. Schillinger thought that he was forcing himself on Keller, but really Keller was willing. Sister Pete asks whether Keller enjoys sex with men, and Keller replies that he enjoys sex, period. He asks Sister Pete about her sex life, and reaches over to pick a piece of lint from her sweater, totally copping a feel at the same time. Sister Pete gets all flustered and admits that she misses her husband, and points out that Keller somehow always manages to turn their sessions around to talking about her instead of him. She just wants to find out why he hurt Beecher. Keller says that when he met Bonnie, she was alone, so he knew that it would be easy to get her to fall in love with him. He wondered whether she would still love him after he broke her heart. Keller concludes, "I am a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad..." Sister Pete has tears in her eyes. Keller asks whether she's happy that he spilled his guts. Sister Pete asks whether Keller hurt Beecher to see if Beecher would love him no matter what. Keller says that at first he wanted unconditional surrender, and then he wanted unconditional love, but Beecher doesn't love him. Sister Pete adds, "And it's killing you inside." Keller agrees.
Keller watches Beecher pray on his knees in his cell. One floor above, Said prays also.
Beecher sits in the meeting room as Said and Arif walk in and tell Beecher that the room is reserved. Beecher starts to leave, and then turns and says that the Muslims think about God all the time. Said agrees. Beecher asks why, and Said says that he wants to know God. Beecher contemplates that, and says that he does too. Beecher says he's already read the Bible, and asks to borrow the Koran. Said hands it to Beecher, and then invites him to stay for the discussion. The other Muslims don't look too happy about that. Beecher stays.