Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | 372 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Smoke Does Not Get In Your Eyes…
By Couch Baron | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2010.10.10
He adds that Midge was so excited "when she tracked you down," bringing a whole other creepy element to this scenario, and then Midge reappears and smiles that she knew she shouldn't have left the two of them alone. Honey, you ain't kidding. Perry offers to go get some groceries and "whip up a great meal," except for the part where he has no money and Midge lost her purse, so Don, over Midge's objections, produces a ten-spot, which Perry regards like it's a...well, a bag of heroin. Sometimes the metaphor just isn't necessary. When he's gone, Don takes a moment and then hilariously opines, "He's very interesting," to which Midge just as hilariously bites out, "He's an idiot." Less funny is the part where she adds that Perry's just going to go put Don's ten bucks into his arm, but it's hardly the biggest surprise in the world, given Midge's fairly thin, haggard appearance and the general feeling of something being off ever since she appeared on screen. Midge reiterates that Perry's an idiot before telling Don she just wanted him to buy a painting, and then the two of them sit on the bed, and Don curiously asks Midge what being on heroin is like. Midge: "Like drinking a hundred bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits." I'm going to have to take her word for it.
She goes on that Perry told her it would take her mind off her work, but "turns out it's a full-time job." He asks why she doesn't stop, then, as if he's not having trouble with substances far less addictive, and she basically tells him that: "I know it's bad for me, but...it's heroin, Don. I just can't stop." I don't know what you say to that. It's tragic. I mean, not that I was a huge fan of Midge and her beatnik lifestyle, but she certainly had plenty of joie de vivre when we knew her last. This is tough to see. Not just for me, as after Midge tells him how happy she is to see him, Don has to take a moment before reaching for his checkbook and writing one out for three hundred bucks for the painting, but the misery's not over, as in possibly the toughest line yet, her voice breaks slightly as she emphasizes just how far she's fallen: "What am I gonna do with a check?" Her shame is so palpable you can practically feel it wash over you like a dirty wave, but Don doesn't judge her for it, instead handing over the hundred and twenty bucks he's got in cash. She looks at him equivocally for a moment and then returns the check, which he tears up.